Re-Joyce!

Nothing screams, "MOVE THAT BUS!", like a bad mug shot!
The latest entry into the "I'm a drunk celebrity- get me an extreme makeover" is none other than the lovable and laughable Janet. What she wouldn't do to have Mr. Roper bail her out of this one!

"well yeah, Three's Company was on 3 decades ago, but hey...who's counting?" Apparently, neither Joyce nor the Regal Beagle bartender, but the Breathalyzer certainly was!

There really should be someone running a "GlamorMug Shot" service to the stars- they'd certainly stay in business. Given how TMZ is all over everyone's shit before the cops are, perhaps they could add it to their line of services. At least then someone might agree to an interview or regard them somewhat favorably.

Here's hoping Joyce DeWitt pulls that mug back together, it's way too close to looking like Norman Fell!

Is that it?

Beggars can't be choosers, but I felt this action was just the tip of the iceberg.

Given the crap that we as a radio listening audience have had to put up with over the years, I would think Mimi could have been a bit longer in her apology. Yes, it is a great first step towards acknowledging the s&$t she squatted out and dumped on the world, but it makes me think that she doesn't realize that is how she always sounds!

And, while she is apologizing, what about the dress she wore...?

So I have seen the dessert, "Death by Chocolate", on many a fine restaurants menus, but after reading this I just kept thinking about poor Augusta in Willy Wonka. This is not the way I want to go. MJ is my new role model for going out quick and easy, but with a big splash! Just no Mariah, please!

Stealing Salutations

Merry 3rd of July to all and to all a good fireworks show!

Something as big as the USA's birthday deserves more than just a mere day to celebrate (and who couldn't use another day off work), so I'm pushing to get a "4th of July Birthday Eve" added to our grouping of federal holidays. Note, that is "grouping", not "groping"; one needs not wait for a federal holiday to be groped, if you're lucky! Hello, separation of church and state? We "technically" aren't a religious country, but Jesus gets an "eve" thrown his way (and it's not even the real birth date, if you follow those things), so why can't Uncle Sam? Let the debate begin!

So Michael is dead and now he's a saint; funny what death can do to an image. Perhaps Perez should take note? Bet he's glad June is over! It's almost blasphemous now to refer to MJ as "wacko jacko", but less than two weeks ago he was irrelevant, bizarre and losing Neverland Ranch, again. Strip away his music credentials and he was a creepy man who would most likely have been locked up for a variety of reasons, least of all the cavorting around with a monkey. But now...need I say more?

A tribute to the Governor of South Carolina

A little ditty about the Governor of South Carolina...to the tune of the Black Eyed Peas, "where is the love"...

What's wrong with SC mama?
Daddy's living like aint got no mamas
I think politicians are addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma
Overseas travellin'
Not explaining where he's been
Claims he's been hikin'
On the Appalachian
But it's frontin' for another woman
Yet marriages he will support to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And if you hatin you're bound to get irate
Yeah madness is what you demonstrate
And that's the lies he perpetrates
You gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love y'all

People cheatin' people lying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the Gov?(where is the Govx3)(the Gov2x)

Now the wife already sez he's changed
New days are strange is the world the insane?
If love and peace so strong
Then trips to Argentina don't belong
Now the Governor drops a bomb
For months it's been going on
Away on Father's Day
What do you have to say
So ask yourself is the loving really strong?
So I can ask myself really what is going wrong
With this world that we living in
People keep on giving in
Makin wrong decisions
Only visions of them livin and
Not respecting each other
Deny thy Argentine lover
Disappeared with the reasons' undercover
The truth is kept secret
Swept under the rug
If you never know truth
Then you never know love
Where's the Gov y'all?(I don't know)
What's the truth y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the Gov y'all?

People cheatin people lying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father father father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the Gov?(where is the Govx3)(the Govx2)

Quote of the Day: anti-Twilight (again)

39-year-old actor Stephen Moyer, who plays Bill Compton, a 173-year-old Southern vampire on HBO's True Blood had this to say about Twilight's Robert Pattinson,

"He's a pussy! He's the Slim-Fast, Diet Coke of vampires."

It's hilarious, vamps dissing one another. I wonder what Spike or Angel would have to say? I bet Drusilla would like the young one and so would Eric.

Dear Stephanie...

Dear Stephanie Pratt,

I am so sorry to hear about your weight challenges while on The Hills. Given what being on that show did to you, it makes sense you've moved on. Your health is most important!

Oh, but you haven't moved on.

So who is to blame? You say the show, i say, "Why blame just one show when you could blame the whole city of L.A., the entertainment industry or the state of California? Go big or go home!"

Oops, bad advice. I'm sure that's something like what they said, "get big and go home! We only like reality stars that look thin, not real!"

I'm not sure if just being on a show can actually make you thinner.
NEWS FLASH...you may have had something to do with it; call it bad eating habits, drinking habits, always filming at a bar or coffee shop habits, binging habits, puking habits, smoking habits, coffee habits...or your stupid brother's habit of stressing you out.

The Usual Suspects.

I'm not a believer that being on a skinny-girl show creates your osmosis of bulimia to be skinny. I have watched plenty of America's Funniest Home Video's and never found Bob Saget to be funny. Anna Paquin doesn't have ESP in real life and Heather Locklear is no sharp shooter ala TJ Hooker!

I'm not saying, I'm just saying...

FINALLY!

And it ends so perfectly...!