It Lives! Shazam! Ta-dah!

Perhaps all it took was the decline of an icon to get me back in the game- that poor Florence Henderson was robbed! Shame on the "House of Palin" for remaining upright when it kept collapsing during the show!

Maybe just too much coffee late in the day, and a slow down at the office, has my storytelling fingers itchy ?

Just what has moved me to rekindle an old flame almost a year removed from our last date? Change, and not the kind that you voted for in 2008!

Perhap blogging while working at a very large media empire (with a famous news network or two) creates a sense of fear when there is a company policy to manuever around to avoid getting spanked; or just a real busy schedule keeping my hands tied and away from the blogosphere. Is blogging still happening?

Never the less, in the immortal words of many fun dance songs (Howard Jones, Lisa Stansfield, Jesse McCartney, et al), "i'm leaving".

Yep- after 10.5 years of working in one place I am uprooting to go work at another place (how eloquent, eh?). I have loved my job, company and all it has provided for me along my professional career. The opportunity for growth internally wasn't clear or currently present, so I have found it elsewhere.  I leave with only great feeling and some sadness for those I will miss- and yet a new group awaits!

Like Liz Lemon says...

"Dealbreakers..."

If you don't watch a performance but act offended by it, you don't get to complain. If you are a network that puts on the said performance and leaves it unedited from East to West coast feeds, you can't claim you've been fouled. You can't claim ignorance either when you promote the performance as "outrageous" and  schedule it after the all awards have been given out and the local news is nipping at your heels- just in case people tune out. Dealbreaker! If you are offended yet too lazy to click the remote...dealbreaker!

No complaining about healthcare if you are overweight or a smoker- you are the very thing that is burdening the system. Dealbreaker!

Divorced people can't fight for the defense of marriage- they are who mock the institute. Protect marriage- don't divorce!

And, you can't support a candidate if you don't know why you support them...

The American Music Awards in review

Awards season is kicking into gear and if the AMA is a bellwether of what's to come, well then you better start a crackin' to stock up on gauze, hairspray, "I love Taylor Swift" posters and any discarded Mad Max and the Thunderdome outfits you can find. Although Alicia Keyes may have already beaten you to all the chainmail tops, it seems there's no end to the supply of barbed shoulders. And Jlo, I'd leave the "Louboutins" and start over with some "fresh out of the oven" music if you want to be a contender in a comeback role!

Speaking of comebacks, "what up, Whitney?" Seems like Dick Clark needed to create an award for the "comeback of the year", so why not call her "Int'l Artist of the Year?"- not like anyone really believes it, but it gave The Preacher's Wife a chance to reclaim the stage-too bad she can't sing any more. That was just an okay, talk-along approach, without hitting any notes. You could see the sighs of relief in the crowd when she finished and hadn't pulled a Britney, circa 2008, VMA's!

Question- why didn't Elvis, Nat King Cole or the Beatles get nominated? Oh yeah, cause they are dead and don't have new material...so...Michael...why was he nominated? The act of dying is not a category! Just because he died doesn't mean you throw him into categories he doesn't qualify for! Give him his props with an honorary award, but don't put him on the ballot! It just make the whole evening and awards seem cheap...speaking of Adam Lambert's performance- could someone return Paula Abdul's "Cold-Hearted Snake" props when they are done? The mirror goes back to Michael's Neverland ranch.

I think Rihanna stole Toni Braxon's outfit from the Grammy's years ago- or King Tut and repurposed it. That resourceful Lady GaGa then took it and made outfits for all of her dancers out of it! Now, add a dash of zombie dance moves, fire, broken glass, christmas lights and the stage is set for her perfect performance; Lady G's, not Riri's.

Why does Perez show up? And why does anyone give him a mic?

Thank goodness for Mary J and Carrie Underwood for keeping the joint classy!

And well, props to Taylor Swift who stayed up really late to accept her awards! Way to go! I hope she doesn't have to perform today!

By the end of the night, I think the only thing feeling more spent than Taylor Swift's acceptance speeches were the censors working the Eminem and 50 Cent performance or Adam Lambert's stylist.

Like I never left...

Yo Zombie Jesus, when I fall asleep at the wheel blog, I thought you were supposed to take over! I should have known country music lyrics were just a bunch of lies, unless Taylor Swift sings them!

Apparently nobody was ghost-writing while I fiddled, maybe they were too busy watching TV?

What brings me out of my shell? That dumb woman Carrie Prejean and Jon minus 8....why won't they just shut up and go away? Is anybody listening? Wait a sec- aren't these the same stupid people I was blogging about 2 months ago, and they still haven't left the building?

Well, now I know why I fell asleep at the wheel- they bore me to sleep! I'd rather listen to the band members of Aerosmith argue about if they have broken up or not than give an audience to Jon "what's his claim to fame"? And as for CP- she'd sell more book with less publicity, she's giving her "Christian" self a bad name! Shut up already!

Is anyone excited about seeing Levi Johnson naked? How frickin' arbitrary is that? WTF? And yet he gets media reporting on this- this is treated as breaking news! The only thing breaking appears to be his zipper and his panty's elastic waistband that causes them to fall down- no need to send a satelite car & crew over for reporting about the shlong...and honestly, if it is so impressive, why would you need a satelite truck equipment to see it?

Jon/Kate, Carrie/Pageants, or Levi/Sarah and the media...The only person who seems to have been able to sum up these folks and their relationships appropriately is Gaga..."call it a bad romance."

The Sizzle!!

Washington upended USC, 16-13,...the Dawgs are the sizzle!

And that's all I'm going to say about that- nothing worse than a poor winner, despite having so few wins to celebrate over the past 3 years.

How did they pull off the win? Perhaps it was the Dick Butkus pep talk? Spending the night at a Holiday Inn Express? Drinking milk? Who knows, let's just hope it's the start of things to come!

I was afraid to go to sleep last night, for fear it would all be just a dream and in the morning it would still be Saturday AM and the game would have yet to be played. Although the win is still there on the record books, my fears were well founded about going to sleep. I had a nightmare that right when Washington kicked the winning field goal, one of the refs turned into Kayne West and decided that USC was usually a much better team and so we don't get to celebrate our win, even though the kick counted. He chased everyone off the field, but was taken down by an errant goalpost falling over.

It was like one of those Geico commercials, when the cave men are finally enjoying themselves, whether at the beach or in a bowling alley, and then suddenly a Geico ad pops up and ruins the whole day! I know why the cave man cries!

After 2 years of watching other teams celebrate victory after victory, and quietly wishing (in my best Liz Lemon voice) "I want to go to there"...."there" finally got here! Not that I counted, but it had been 741 days since the last time a Dawg fan got to celebrate back-back wins...I'm just saying.

Well, the win was real...yippee!!

13,260

No, those are not my winning lottery numbers or how you measure a year- it's what you make in a month.

What would you do if you received $13,260/month?

That's like paying off a year of college tuition and still putting a down payment on a car, in just one month! I guess next months stipend goes to a crazy party at Chuck E. Cheese and purchasing more Hannah Montana crap then 20 screaming 10 year old girls could devour at All-American Girl (well, if they were to sell Hannah there)!!

$13,260 is the amount each one of Michael Jackson's kids receives monthly. "Blanket" has become a lot more expensive than a Snuggy- he's a cashmere quilt!
Hell, I bet Lourdes Ciccione is wishing she could have been adopted! Momma Madonna seems to be much more grounded in granting her special privileges.

Given how much money that is and how young these kids are, if Katherine doesn't do something to help them along, I guessing we are about to witness the slow development of the next Danny Bonaduce, Corey Feldman and Dana Plato in the making- I can only hope they aspire to be Paris!

Treason!

Now I know why other countries hate us!

First we offer up 2 servings of George W.
Then we dish out this??

How can America succeed in stemming the tide of ill-will when we dump this shit on the world, without so much as a warning? People were upset about the Valdez oil spill...what about this toxic waste?

With so many options to choose from, this is what they came up with? What, did Samantha Fox cancel at the last minute and LaToya wasn't available?

You know, it serves NBC right that they should wallow away in crappy ratings- apparently they signed some deal with the devil Sylar and now they are paying for it! And I'm not referring to Seasons 2 and 3 of "Heroes"!

The Bahama's should sue for slander because this "performance" shenanigan violates their motto, "it's better in the Bahama's" something fierce!