Dick Cheney went in for his routine medical check-up this past week. Although for the most part he was given a “clean bill of health”<> for a man his age, a few things did show up that his doctors refused comment on; fortunately, Karl Rove was there, and so we have the report:
-a slight irritation around his heart initially puzzled the doctors because it had been widely speculated that he, in fact, had no heart, just a lump of coal left over from the last energy shortage. They were able to determine that most of the cause of the irritation stems from the democrats and their constant desire for doing things, ”the democratic way”.
-a slight rash around his calves is apparently from the endless chafing he receives from pulling cowboy boots on and off when goes out to Crawford, Texas, to explain policies to George W….who is out on the ranch “riding horsies”.
-bruising along his right arm is from trying to ram a failed Iraq war policy onto the Iraqi people. The swelling should come down as soon as he creates an exit plan for the US military.
-and finally, the burn marks on his buttocks resulted from the spontaneous combustion of the jeans he was wearing. The technical diagnosis is “liar liar pants on fire” syndrome.
There is, however, no truth to the rumor that he is going to go to Canada for insurance purposes and to receive his prescriptions at a cheaper rate than those given to politicians here in the US.
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