Archeologist are celebrating the discovery of the remains of what appears to be a 3000 year old Roman noblewoman.
Funny, last night I was able to simply turn on CNN and discover the remains of two people who out date the Roman find: Larry King and Elizabeth Taylor. Geologist have confirmed that Larry King is in fact still alive and not related to an ancient dinosaur known as "a relevant reporter". Oprah Winfrey has been rumored to have taken a hit out on the old fella, claiming he is cutting into her main demographics, hip-hop artists and elderly white women. Oprah was quoted as saying, "something has got to give, and up to now, it has been his seven wives...and his memory". Ms. Taylor on the other hand (and some 15 marriages between the two) was confirmed by the American Gemologist Association (and Tom Shane) to be "as old as her Hope Diamond, and just as sparkling!"
It was sad to note that during their interview Larry King made it known that he had no idea what a tiara was (does he even know where he is???). I guess that means he's going to have to start watching Anderson Cooper!
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