Today President Bush signed an agreement to create an investigative committee to look into the ongoing failure tabloid magazines to break really good gossip. 'We all hate them, but we all read them," he mumbled on his way to Camp Crawford, his playground away from the press and reality."I just don't get how all of a sudden Lance Bass is gay and no one was saying that before; this has really been tearing up Jenna's heart," Bush continued, "she(Jenna) was so into them during the "No String's Attached" days.
The President said, "It's not like we all didn't see the Star Jones thing a mile away, and when I'm not stuck watching the middle east reports, I've watched Oprah enough to know she's gonna say she ain't dating Gayle (we all know Condi is, though...), so that's not news, but where was the tabloid paparazzi when Lance is kissing and fighting with Reichen? Are they too busy filming "bad parent" Britney driving poorly or almost dropping the baby? Those shots are a dime a dozen these days..."
"I know how to eavesdrop on a nation and get away with it, laws be damned!" Mr.Bush concluded, "so why can't the National Enquirer or US Weekly figure it out! That's why I am creating this committee!" Once I get to the bottom of this, I'm going to invade Paris and take on the Tour De France!
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