Long ago, in a decade far removed from this one, suave roamed the land. Suave was everywhere, it could be seen in Miami, Milan, NYC, LA, and Rome; but then one day, like TANG, the pet rock craze or Paulie Shore's popularity, it was gone. Silent tears were shed down the faces of linguists everywhere; teenage girls, confused with the marked similarity in names, threw themselves at Rico Suave believing him to be the new suave messiah. Alas, they were wrong (thank god). Where had all the suave gone? Some though it had just relocated into hair care products, but It was so much more than just a brand name shampoo! Suave was a lifestyle word gone awol! So where did it go? What happened to suave?
Police today discovered a bunker out behind Justin Timberlake's backyard. It seems suave was kidnapped somewhere in the early 90's and has been living off of Swanson frozen dinners and Jell-o packets ever since. As best the investigator's can tell, Justin has been plotting and scheming to bring sexy back (also lost for awhile after Rod Stewart's flame extinguished) since leaving the Mickey Mouse Club and Britney Spear's. And by taking suave out of the picture, nothing but bootylicous was gonna stop him
Well, sexy is back, but now that suave has been rescued, Justin's got one pissed suave ready to pounce! And don't be surprised if it shows up in a shopping center near you! Suave does what sexy does, for half the price!
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