Tuesday's Lost and Found Celebrity

The recent hacking of Paris Hilton’s cell phone, “Sidekick” (not the type of press T-Mobile hopes for, but with Paris, what would you expect?) has not only uncovered the numbers of such friends as Eminem, Christina Augillera and Lindsey Lohan but has also shed light on a long-rumored famous Hollywood family secret: the missing Gabor sister!

For years rumors have persisted that there was a fourth Gabor sister; one that was not quite as glamorous as Magda, Eva or Zsa Zsa and so she was kept hidden. Stories circulated that she was born premature and was said to be a sickly child, often very ill and bed-ridden. Real or not, this girl was rarely seen by others. In time people simply forgot about the girl and she took on the persona of yet another Hollywood myth. It wasn’t until years later, when the sisters made their way to Hollywood and began making films, that the fable of the 4th sister began to be retold. As the old Hollywood legends go, whenever a stunt-double was needed for one of the sisters, the same woman was always hired; a woman who looked remarkably similar to them and even spoke with the same Hungarian accent, but rarely could people ever gain access to her—she was always kept in the trailer. Whenever one of the sisters was asked about this “fourth” sibling, they always feigned not understanding the question and stepped away to make-up. As time marched and the Gabor sisters slowly faded from front page news (besides the odd bitch-slapping cops and drunk driving incidents), interest has waned around the family mystery—until now!

The hackers who posted Paris’ black book on the web included information on a “Na Zsa Gabor (pronounced “Nausea”)”. Paparazzi have been stationed near this woman address, but rarely has she been seen. When spotted, it’s usually when she is in the bathroom throwing up. The few photo-ops that ever caught her usually had her down on all fours, looking up at the camera with spittle running down her chin, and someone behind her, holding up her hair (hhmm…kinda sounds like Paris, too, come to think of it or a 21st birthday party). She doesn’t seem to ever leave her home, except on rare occasion to by vodka, cigarettes, spam and Dramamine. A neighbor of hers was quoted as saying, “she’s always seemed so ill- she’s about as healthy as the pope”.

Currently, that is all we have to report, but we will keep you posted if any new information comes our way or if Zsa Zsa gets another speeding ticket.