Emergency procedures are being developed to reign in the mega star, Tom Cruise, who appears to be close to spiraling out of orbit.
Specialists who have watched Mr. Cruise’s behavior on recent talk show interviews believe that one of four things has occurred:
He slept at a Holiday Inn and now has divined the answers to everything in life and is not afraid to tell you- watch out Brooke Shields!
At age 42, he finally got some action (see antics of jumping up and down on Oprah’s couch)! He acts like a de-virginized 16 year old!
He really believes aliens are about to invade the planet (in the guise of Scientology members).
He looked at his checkbook and realized he had enough money to start acting like a crazy man, and get away with it.
Additionally, handlers of Katie Holmes are growing increasingly nervous as she continues to act like a “Stepford wife”. They are closely monitoring the whites around her eyes. If she begins to look too much like Jennifer Willbanks, she will be admitted for therapy. No one wants to have another runaway bride fiasco!
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