Tuesday's FEMA Efforts

Late Sunday night Washington DC emergency response teams received a frantic call from a tourist who had been near the White House.
Two other calls were received by DC’s 9-1-1 call center within minutes of the first one. Conflicting reports have made unraveling this story difficult, but what is clear is that all 3 reports claimed to have seen suspicious activity and unusual people in, and around, the White House. Each caller gave similar descriptions as to the person they saw lurking about on the White House property. White House Security was able apprehend the suspect and turned him over to the police for arrest. It took over two hours for Laura Bush and Dick Cheney to realize that George W. had been missing. It seems no one is used to seeing him at work, or at the White House.

In related news: although much press has been made about the recalling (and the subsequent resigning) of FEMA Director Browne, from New Orleans back to Washington, the truth of the matter is simply that given the way that the Bush administration has responded to the disaster in the South, there was obviously more need for emergency work back in DC than there was in New Orleans. Director Browne was just going to where emergency response crews were most needed; a Bush cabinet meeting.

There is no truth to the rumor that FEMA will be deployed to salvage Britney Spears’ image or career- they just don’t have enough resources for a rescue mission of that magnitude.