The government is looking out for you when it comes to bird flu; yes, this is the same government that has you covered when disasters happen, so, I feel about as safe and secure as a Mississippi homeowner who lived in the path of Katrina…and is still waiting on assistance.
It is interesting to note that FEMA, the department that is supposed to plan for and react in emergencies, was not the agency that developed the bird flu guidelines. What are they doing these days, trying to hang the ‘Mission Accomplished” banner across the Gulf States?
Regardless, Georgie wants you safe, and so he’s doing something about it! His first efforts to stave off the avian flu are to reduce the number of birds in America; all condors, spotted owls, and bald eagles are off the endangered species list. Additionally, because influenza is so high communicable, he will no longer allow birds to be show in theaters or on television; Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, Tweety, and Big Bird have all been quarantined till further notice. Government watchdog groups have are also keeping an eye out to see if “W” tries to erase any historical/political references to Dan Quayle’s bungled service under his fathers time in office.
Finally, it is to be noted that the president “really wants the Republicans to win” in the Fall elections or else he will become a lame duck president and be more susceptible to catching the flu.
In related news, the president’s approval ratings have gotten so low that now more people are willing to catch the bird flu than those who approve of the presidents job performance (Laura wasn’t polled).
No comments:
Post a Comment