It's taken a coconut tree to do what no other drug has been able to do: slow Keith Richards down.
The Rolling Stones deny that Richards has suffered any brain damage from his fall. True, I am sure it all happened years before he fell out of the coconut tree. While he is under doctors care, and legal medication (for once), I hope they search to find out what has grown in in the place of his kidney and liver; those organs took a hike a long time ago.
There's no truth to the rumor that during his physical doctors help sedate him by diluting his IV with Jack Daniel's; it was definitely tequila. Doctors did discover the Nelson twins residing in his hair when they were finally able to wash and run a comb through Keith's mangy mane.
Ozzie and Harriet can now rest at ease knowing their grandchildren have been found.
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