Thursday, July 05, 2007

on my radar: proud to be american


I usually don't wear adult diapers, but I'm glad I had a spare pair, otherwise I would have wet myself ! These days there's not a lot to be proud of when it comes to ringing the Liberty Bell of Americana; yes we have lots, but we are exporting too many jobs, our dollar sucks against virtually every other currency, our gov't isn't held in the highest esteem amongst world powers, and most of our cars are foreign, and run better.... so being all sentimental yesterday, I was certainly ripe for a John McClane "yippeekaiay" moment (NOT the Senator), and there it was!


Watching the "news" of the day, an American set a new record for eating hot dogs...66! In your face Japan! We rule! What a surge of pride (and vomit) I felt, thinking about 66 hot dogs being shoved down my larynx in just 12 minutes! One dog and bun eaten every 10.9 seconds! Linda Lovelace wishes she could be so talented! Funny though, somehow the single chicken burger I was eating became too much for me. Apparently Mr. Chestnut had acquired several people's appetites, while I'd lost mine.


And as the stirring sounds of the "Star Spanglish Banner" played I found my pride in being American...there may be things that we are lacking: recount processes, esteem from other nations, a proven health care and social security system, or even immigration reform bills, but there's something we've got that the others don't, and that's the pride that comes with a new role model for our children, "The Worlds Fastest Hot Dog Eating Champion"...and we wonder why we are fat!

6 comments:

Airam said...

Hope you had a good day yesterday!

And I don't know how people can eat so many lips and assholes in such a short period of time.

Damn I love me some hotdogs but that many??? I couldn't do it.

EF said...

I had a great, relaxing 4th...till I saw this news...do ya think they throw them up afterwards? Can't imagine digesting all of that crap!

armalicious said...

I saw this on ESPN and I almost threw up myself. There is nothing more disgusting than seeing some dude shove hotdogs in his mouth to where his cheeks are rounder than a chipmunk in the fall.

Yes, I'm proud, too. Soooo proud.

egan said...

These guys make big bucks doing this shit. There's a whole league and tour they promote. Bro, you know bro #6 is interested in this stuff. He puts away food like these freaks do. I honestly wish this crap wasn't televised.

megabrooke said...

i think that they can throw up afterwards, but during- they get DQ'd. yuck.

EF said...

ARM- sad what counts for sports these days, eh? Next we'll be seeingdog shows on ESPN!..;-)

Egan...maybe the bright side is at least he has a goal....besides a 300 game!

Brookem- thats one spill bucket I'll opt not to clean!