Paralyzing thought of the day: How do i know if my boss is a decipticon or not?
Sometimes my workload feels evil and lacking purpose, but is it just because I didn't get enough sleep last night watching Conan or was it because I didn't go to an Ivy League school, or is it because my boss is really trying to take over the world, one boring spreadsheet at a time? She still has braces on, so I am leaning towards believing she is actually an evil mechanical machine....like the xerox! That damn machine is almost single-handly bringing down our whole department! No one can make colored copies and the collating function has never worked properly! I wonder if she is transmitting secrets via the fax machine? It never seems to work right, but it is always making funny noises...OMG! My department has been taken over by decepticons!!! And the leader of this movement...the Iphone! And their secret brainwashing network: "youtube". I used to think the WB was the source of all evil, except for "Charmed" and "Gilmore Girls", but I must revisit that thought and argue "youtube" is the evil network!
Or maybe the mastermind is Mr. Coffee, the coffee machine! Could it be spiking our beverages with extra doses of caffeine to make us work faster and sleep less? I'm beginning to know how Will Smith felt in "I Robot"!
I'd run for cover, but I am afraid the elevator will swallow me whole, like it did to Rosalyn in "LA Law"...such a great end to her character...but now I am a slave to these evil robots.
Maybe my boss is an evil fembot instead? Where is Jamie Sommers when you need her?
7 comments:
she sounds kind of fembot-ish to me. especially with the hot braces and all. does her head spin around and does she have the austin powers type bra/thing that shoots some sort of bullets to ward her employees who piss her off? these are questions i have.
i say you take the copy machine and pull an office space on it, bring it to a vacant lot/field and destroy that bad boy. seems like the right thing to do.
I think I will do that!
Whoa, Brookem comments you respond to her. I comment and I get nothing. Yes, I'm bitter.
egan- curb your jealousy. can you handle it?
Ah younger brother...your time has come! You know you are my favorite!
First you quote Christopher Cross lyrics to me. Then I come to your blog and see that you write a post that not only uses the word "decipticon", but you speak of "Charmed", too. And you watch Conan? Or was that sarcasm? And yes, YouTube is the evil network. Do you know how much time I spent on that website Sunday night? I can't even tell you because it has wiped my memory. All I remember is sitting down to look at some YouTube clips and then the next thing I know I'm curled up in a ball in cold sweats.
But then, that might not have been the YouTube.
I hope you don't regret giving me this link. My first-time comments are always weird - I get nervous and start rambling. They'll get better, I promise.
ARM...heck no! there is comfort in numbers (except if you star in a movie with 23 in it)! Howdy! Egan is much more a personal blogger where as I tend to go towards the pop culture that clogs our arteries!
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