Tuesday's Family Secrets

Janet Jackson announced today that she couldn’t remember if she had a daughter or not.
“I’m not sure why theses stories are coming to light right now, I have no new album to promote or perfume to market”, she quipped to a local reporter.
Janet’s ex-husband’s brother ignited the flames of this story by claiming that Rebbie Jackson is raising Janet’s 18-year old daughter. All this really goes to show you is if you can’t sing in the Jackson family, you’re gonna get stuck with the kids! Census workers have been brought in to count heads in the Jackson household, but fear they won’t be able to get an accurate number because they can’t keep track of all the kids in Neverland Ranch; are they family or dates? Speculation is growing that President Bush, in order to shore up the waning support of his presidency, will name a special prosecutor to oversee the investigation. “The question of whether or not Ms. Jackson (when she is nasty) has a child appears to be of more public interest than anything I have been doing lately”, Bush was quoted as saying. With nothing to do, and 3 more years to do it in, it is widely believed that Mr. Bush himself will lead the investigation.