When did condoms go out of style?
I'm just a wee bit confused these days when you hear about the string of paternity situations that are, pardon the pun, arising. What's going on papa's? Did ya forget how babies are made? Yep, there's the pill to avoid pregnancy, but what about the guys taking some responsibility?
Let's start with Miss Anna Nicole Smith (rest her weary Trimspa soul): just how many guys stepped forward to claim they were the father, like 5 or 6? So for every guy who claimed they were the father, doesn't that pretty much mean they were having unprotected sex? Yuck! That thought might need a few beers to be rinsed from my brain! And not a one of them used a Trojan (even OJ!).
Shar/Britney: if the rumors are true (how much do we trust the National Enquirer?) K-fed is up to baby number 5 (Shar is supposedly preggers again). I don't get what they see in him, but at least zip-lock it! Why is it that the most fertile men are the ones that should be shooting blanks? Think Brit will take him back now that he's gone back to his former girlfriend?
Elijah Duke: a 22-year old baseball player for Tampa Bay, on to baby number 5 with mother number 4! He's going to need to play ball till he's 50 to afford his brood, and yet spending a buck would have been so much cheaper!
And let's not forget Tom Brady. When you're that hot and everybody wants to have your baby- protect yourself, because the others see dollar signs and diapers when they look at you.
So please, if you need to let your little red corvette out for a test run, don't take the wrapping off until you're sure you can afford the payments and the sitters!
Next week: baby skills 101: how to tie your child up properly when you want leave them in the car and eat in peace at the local Cracker Barrel; available on audio, narrated by Alec Baldwin.
I'm just a wee bit confused these days when you hear about the string of paternity situations that are, pardon the pun, arising. What's going on papa's? Did ya forget how babies are made? Yep, there's the pill to avoid pregnancy, but what about the guys taking some responsibility?
Let's start with Miss Anna Nicole Smith (rest her weary Trimspa soul): just how many guys stepped forward to claim they were the father, like 5 or 6? So for every guy who claimed they were the father, doesn't that pretty much mean they were having unprotected sex? Yuck! That thought might need a few beers to be rinsed from my brain! And not a one of them used a Trojan (even OJ!).
Shar/Britney: if the rumors are true (how much do we trust the National Enquirer?) K-fed is up to baby number 5 (Shar is supposedly preggers again). I don't get what they see in him, but at least zip-lock it! Why is it that the most fertile men are the ones that should be shooting blanks? Think Brit will take him back now that he's gone back to his former girlfriend?
Elijah Duke: a 22-year old baseball player for Tampa Bay, on to baby number 5 with mother number 4! He's going to need to play ball till he's 50 to afford his brood, and yet spending a buck would have been so much cheaper!
And let's not forget Tom Brady. When you're that hot and everybody wants to have your baby- protect yourself, because the others see dollar signs and diapers when they look at you.
So please, if you need to let your little red corvette out for a test run, don't take the wrapping off until you're sure you can afford the payments and the sitters!
Next week: baby skills 101: how to tie your child up properly when you want leave them in the car and eat in peace at the local Cracker Barrel; available on audio, narrated by Alec Baldwin.
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