Shortly before George W. Bush decided to take the U.S. into war with Iraq-Al-Quaeda-Bin laden-Afghanistan-Hussein it has been uncovered, through recently declassified government documents (apparently it's not just phone and banking records that anybody can access these days), that a pair of blood-red shoes landed in the Rose Garden, nearly hitting Jenna Bush square in the ass, as she lied, passed out in the dirt.
It is anyone's guess where these size-7 shoes, slightly chewed by a dog, and having some funky green junk on the heel of one, might have come from. An unnamed White House staffer believes that the discovery of the shoes explains why Condi Rice was seen running through the West Wing of the building, barefoot, just a half hour before. Others speculate that they were forgotten there by Monica Lewinsky's and Jenna was too drunk to realize she fell down next them, instead of vice-versa.
A far more ominous explanation was given by the Interior Secretary (and former attache' from Munchkinland) Dirk Kempthorne. "These shoes mean that a blasted little girl is about to overthrow our government and reign havoc on our foreign policies and totally disrupt our ability to function as a country. Storms will destroy us! Animals will attack (especially flying monkeys and lions)! And the housing market will come crashing to earth!" He was promptly rushed to Walter Reed Hospital for "exhaustion and evaluations."
Most now believe the shoes were simply discarded for flip-flops by one of the women players when the USA Women's soccer team paid the White House a visit, but with Senator Clinton's presidential bid announced, some people believe Sec. Kempthorne might still be right...
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