The evil that men do...

You'd think the label of "man's best friend" would have it perks: walks around the park, someone to feed you, someone to pick up after you, leather collars (if you're into that stuff), and warm fires to lie in front of on wet cold nights. So who the @#$@! decided to punish this poor puppy? Don't it's eyes say everything, "late one night, when you are fast sleep in your bed, I will plod up to your room, hop ontop of that over-stuffed mattress, and shove this damn thing down your throat! And, when you try to run, the first thing you will feel is the ooze of puppy-poo between youe toes! Don't ever put clothes, like a jester's collar on me again, and then take me to the dog park, jackass!"