President-elect Gore, you're fat!
Yes, global warming is occurring, but before you'll ever get to seeing that last polar ice-cap melt, you'll be more than six feet under, if you don't quit picking up those double patty-melts! Block your door now, the true terrorists who will threaten your well-being are on the way! That's right, the Girl Scouts and their ever so popular (but no trans-fatty= blah) cookies! You need to get a little more Jane Fonda in your day and become a little less fond of trees! Mr. Gore, I have seen "Jared", I've watched countless "Jared" commercials, Mr. Gore, you're no "Jared"- get that ass into Subway, mach schnell! And, if you're really good, maybe this time next year, on Oprah, you can strip down to a speedo! A leaner you and a slighter "milkshake" might bring more environmentalist to your yard! That's right, it's better than yours!
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