An Open Letter

Dear (obtuse, stupid, detached from reality) airline (Airtran) passenger (NFL quarterback),

Long ago (about 6 years ago), in a galaxy far far away (NYC), an evil empire (Fox News, Al-Quaeda, Trump) struck out at the USA. They behaved very badly: blowing up planes and crashing them into buildings; thousands of people were killed in these acts of violence (or millions have been numbed by the televised stupidity that is presented as "fair and balanced news"). Maybe you heard about this? No? Maybe your helmet blocked the noise and has kept you from being aware of the ensuing events that have impacted nearly every American (election) for the past several years and has lead to crappy foreign policies(war) and new regulations at airports. No? Oh, maybe you were too busy getting your STD's checked out at the lab? Well, whatever the case, it is important for you to understand that, under current Federal regulations (think "the government referee's") it's a no-no to carry any liquid (water or perhaps Gatorade?) through security checkpoints. So, if you are going to try to say, smuggle drugs in a water bottle (hypothetically speaking- do you know what hypothetical means? Yes, you do! You went to college!- wait, did you graduate?) doing it at an airport wouldn't be a good idea (play) since no one can bring liquids through security (like have a defensive line no running back can get through)! This is one tackle you couldn't break free from!

Cheers-

A thoughtful ex-fan (one of the many that you flipped off).

ps...like ya can't get your stash in ATL? Yet another insult to this fine city!