Tueday's Disney Rap

**hum along to "golddigger"**

They’ll break your heart when you’re in need
Yea they’re trifflin’ damsels indeed
Oh they are gold digga’s all over Disney
That digs on we

Now I ain’t saying Disney fronts for gold diggers
But they aint earning their keep workin’ with sharp scissors
Now I aint saying Disney pimps out gold diggers
But they aint earning their keep working with scissors
Get down girl go head get down
Get down girl go head get down
Get down girl go head get down

Snow White the vixen
Met her wandering along
Carrying her heart in Louis Vuitton
Up under her arm
She asked the dwarves for a rock
She used her charms
End up in bed with Doc
I could tell by her charms and white arms
There was evil lurking but she was the one
The bad witch trying to see her
The mirror told me she was white like blow
Flaky like snow, banished from the castle she gots to go
Trouble followed where she go
7 dwarves just had to know
They shut the door and told her NO!

Now I aint saying Disney endorses a gold digger
But she ain’t working with no broke scissors
Now I ain’t saying Disney supports a gold digger
But she ain’t cleaning the place for visitors
Get down girl go head get down
Get down girl go head get down
Get down girl go head get down


18 years, 18 years
Sleeping Beauty slept for over 18 years!
Another evil witch come and try to steal a king’s kid
This bitch Maleficent took what was his
You could see her on any given Sunday
Sleeping away Tuesdays thru Mondays
A prince was to come and wake her with a kiss
But the charming prince wasn’t down with this
Brokeback Mountain is where he missed
But Disney won’t discuss stuff like this
So Shrek filled in and blew a fat kiss
Now Sleeping Beauty is married bliss
If he aint no punk Shrek sez he wants Prenup!
Shrek wants prenup!
It something you need to have
Cause Princess Aurora might not give him half
She slept for over 18 years
And when she awoke all the castle was hers!
Get down girl go head get down
Get down girl go head get down
Get down girl go head get down

Cinderella it’s been said was a gold digger with needs
Stuck cleaning pots, not paid enough for a weave
She can’t eat out, just smokes weed
She snuck out one, met a prince, then he leaves
But while she’s washin’ the princes catches a clue
Comes to wondering does her foot fit the shoe?
He sees that sparkle, that look in her eyes
This gold digger found her next prize
Damn that shoe! it’s the right size
For the rest of his years he works with burger and fries
But he stays right girl
But shoulda left her for a nice girl!
Get down girl go head get down
Get down girl go head get down
Get down girl go head get down

Tuesday's Stumbling out of 2005

With 2006 kicking into gear, I thought it might be nice to take a look back at several of the top stories that captured print and news space in 2005 (whether or not they earned it)

Avian bird flu: The Avian bird flu appears to have reached the USA in 2005, it’s just most people have failed to diagnosis it correctly. The flu struck the NFL this year. In the waning days of the 2005 season, all but one bird team stumbled through 16 weeks of the professional football season and ended up with even or losing records; talk about lame ducks! The bright spot…Seattle Seahawks!

Tsunami’s: Giant waves of protest crashed ashore near Crawford, Texas this year. Growing unrest and doubt with the war in Iraq lead mothers and protesters to squat at the Bush family compound- if only they could have kept him there!

Mother Nature: Like her or not, we are stuck with her! If the religious right is to be believed, and what happened to New Orleans (never mind all the other people and places impacted) is payback for the decadent lifestyle embraced in the Crescent City; I would hate to see what mamma has in store for Vegas!

Michael Jackson: If a jury of someone’s peers can’t convict him and throw him in jail, then we got the next best thing…after his trial he moved out of the country! A bunch of nitwit jurors claimed that they knew he was guilty; they just chose to declare him innocent! Of course, what good would it do for their proposed book deals if he didn’t walk?

Steroids in Sports: the juice is loose and is coursing through the veins of an athlete near you! Those who deny it the loudest are simply suffering from “’roid rage”! What the world needs now is more Bode Millers to tell it straight!

Stuucks: “Bennifers”, “TomKats”, “Brangelina’s”, and my favorite, “Nicka” ( this almost caught the essence of Nick and Jessica…in the way of nincompoops!) Whoever started the contracted names of dating Hollywood folks needs to stop! I have just two words for the person who started this trend “stuuck”.