This town, at times, can be overbearing. All alone in the big city makes people do crazy things; for me, it was online dating. Who sits at the other end of that email? What lonely heart or crazed killer keeps sending me notes with happy faces made out of the colon, dash and parenthesis symbols? Will I meet a cartoonist similiar to the "Ziggy" mentality or a "GI Joe" (just don't ask) type? About the only thing I was sure of was that this date would probably end up going SIDEWAYS. We were to meet at this new upscale place, the HOTEL RWANDA, but plans changed at the last minute and so I headed off to RAY'S bar instead.
Damn! who ever said mapquest was easy? Locating RAYS's was like FINDING NEVERLAND-- nearly impossible! Until I saw the North Star beckoning me forward. Once at the bar, I had to try to figure out who this mystery date was. I certainly hoped it wasn't the hippy looking one over at the pooltable! I approached the bar, seeking a drink to loosen my nerves. The bartender chirped out, "hey who's the new fella? You look like a MILLION DOLLAR's, BABY! "Thanks", was all I could reply. After a few minute, and 2 shots, I worked up the nerve to ask the bartender if he knew anyone here named "Liam"? The bartender just grinned and motioned towards a guy sitting in the back of the bar, decked out in a full-on 80's retro outfit and those damn AVIATOR glasses. I smiled, thanked the bartneder, paid for my drinks and promptly headed to the door...
"I'd rather be at home watching the Oscar nominations instead of wasting my time in this bar", I told myself.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Tuesday's with Strangers
What happens when you put a room full of people together, planning to learn how to foster stronger dialogue between one another, for a full week? Doesn't this sound like fun reality TV?
well let me tell ya...(just like what war is good for) ...Absolutely nothing!, say it again, uh!
Gads...it's like hell froze over today, because it felt like I was in hell, and it did snow outside!
here are just a few snippets of the enthralling dialgoue batted around my table:
"is this sweet tea? wow..it is!"
"I like tangy and citrusy teas, not Earl Grey!" "I love Earl Grey!"
"I brought kleenex's: who needs one?" (am i at a preschool?)
"I have hand lotion...hotels always seem dry"..."is it anti-bacterial?"
"this course is so good, they should replace the Gideon's bible with this book in every room!" "Everyone should read it"..."and the bible too!"
"who put the teabags in a glass? that is so clever! now the tablecloth won't be stained!"
"any one catch MTV's Cribs?"...those 20 something hip-hop girls own lots of shoes and game jersey's, but i bet they'll be indebt by 30"
all this before 10 AM!!!!!
Calgon take me away!!!!
well let me tell ya...(just like what war is good for) ...Absolutely nothing!, say it again, uh!
Gads...it's like hell froze over today, because it felt like I was in hell, and it did snow outside!
here are just a few snippets of the enthralling dialgoue batted around my table:
"is this sweet tea? wow..it is!"
"I like tangy and citrusy teas, not Earl Grey!" "I love Earl Grey!"
"I brought kleenex's: who needs one?" (am i at a preschool?)
"I have hand lotion...hotels always seem dry"..."is it anti-bacterial?"
"this course is so good, they should replace the Gideon's bible with this book in every room!" "Everyone should read it"..."and the bible too!"
"who put the teabags in a glass? that is so clever! now the tablecloth won't be stained!"
"any one catch MTV's Cribs?"...those 20 something hip-hop girls own lots of shoes and game jersey's, but i bet they'll be indebt by 30"
all this before 10 AM!!!!!
Calgon take me away!!!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Tuesday's Resolutions Role Models
Tick-tock, tick-tock. It’s just one simple week into the new year—how are those resolutions going? Anyone tired of Amber Frey (and Gloria Allred) already?
I’m looking over the annual to-do list and I’m thinking, how can Hollywood help me achieve my resolutions? Then I realized, there are role models everywhere, if you just look hard enough (actually, you barely have to look at all, they will find us)!
1. “I want to help children”—who better than Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to be influencing the next generation? Fox had them lined up to be substitute teachers in the 3rd iteration of “the Simple Life”, until parents complained. Don’t you want your kids to understand the value of $1 million dollars and learn how that pesky home camera works?
2. “Keeping secrets—The Pitts that go split”. They claim for weeks now they have known about their impending separation announcement, but they didn’t want to overshadow the ending of “Friends”, or the premiere of “Oceans 12”. Realizing that is a span of almost 6 months, they certainly knew how to keep their split a super secret!
3. “Earn more money”. Anna Nicole, recently having her lawsuit overturned, suddenly is out $88 million. Her lawyer quickly stated they would fight this grievous betrayl, in court. What a way to earn an honest buck—strip and sue for it!
4. “Be healthier”—George Carlin finally goes in for rehab! Who didn’t see this coming decades ago? Well, now that he’s on the bandwagon, I will be too!
5. “Get more sleep”—I do want to rest more, but I am afraid that if I sleep like Liza Minelli, I won’t be able to afford the doctor’s bill! What’s up with almost inducing a coma when ya fall out of bed asleep?
I hope this helps inspire all of you to keep at those resolutions! If Hollywood can do it, we can to!
I’m looking over the annual to-do list and I’m thinking, how can Hollywood help me achieve my resolutions? Then I realized, there are role models everywhere, if you just look hard enough (actually, you barely have to look at all, they will find us)!
1. “I want to help children”—who better than Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to be influencing the next generation? Fox had them lined up to be substitute teachers in the 3rd iteration of “the Simple Life”, until parents complained. Don’t you want your kids to understand the value of $1 million dollars and learn how that pesky home camera works?
2. “Keeping secrets—The Pitts that go split”. They claim for weeks now they have known about their impending separation announcement, but they didn’t want to overshadow the ending of “Friends”, or the premiere of “Oceans 12”. Realizing that is a span of almost 6 months, they certainly knew how to keep their split a super secret!
3. “Earn more money”. Anna Nicole, recently having her lawsuit overturned, suddenly is out $88 million. Her lawyer quickly stated they would fight this grievous betrayl, in court. What a way to earn an honest buck—strip and sue for it!
4. “Be healthier”—George Carlin finally goes in for rehab! Who didn’t see this coming decades ago? Well, now that he’s on the bandwagon, I will be too!
5. “Get more sleep”—I do want to rest more, but I am afraid that if I sleep like Liza Minelli, I won’t be able to afford the doctor’s bill! What’s up with almost inducing a coma when ya fall out of bed asleep?
I hope this helps inspire all of you to keep at those resolutions! If Hollywood can do it, we can to!
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Tuesday's with Amber Frey
It's a big day in the book publishing world. Harry Potter won't be out for 6 more months, but Amber "he's gone fry for his lies" Frey's tell-all is now available, "Murder, She Wrote." Just joking! The real book name is very witty and inventive title, "Witness for the Prosecution of Scott Peterson." Ooh! ooh! Who could it be? Their dog who finally broke down and admitted he saw Scott do it?
Chapter headings read like B-movie titles or conversations held during sorority rush. Two examples are: "Isn't that a little twisted, Scott?" and "Oh My God! Laci's baby is due on my birthday!" What, was Amber going to get the baby and herself matching outfits to wear?
In the book, Amber reveals to us some of her deepest thoughts and helps shed light or her inquisitive nature (in which she comes across sounding like Paris Hilton or a Penthouse forum letter); she admits she still thinks about him!!! Wow! Crazy! I can't believe it!!! She also wonders, "...if sometimes he thinks about me?" Wake up Amber! You pretty much got him sentenced to death-- of course he thinks about you...it just probably isn't the way you hope!
Intrigued? If your year is off to a slow start pick up this sure to be best-seller! Remember, all profits will help pay for Amber's escort services. Can you imagine she will ever blind date again?
Chapter headings read like B-movie titles or conversations held during sorority rush. Two examples are: "Isn't that a little twisted, Scott?" and "Oh My God! Laci's baby is due on my birthday!" What, was Amber going to get the baby and herself matching outfits to wear?
In the book, Amber reveals to us some of her deepest thoughts and helps shed light or her inquisitive nature (in which she comes across sounding like Paris Hilton or a Penthouse forum letter); she admits she still thinks about him!!! Wow! Crazy! I can't believe it!!! She also wonders, "...if sometimes he thinks about me?" Wake up Amber! You pretty much got him sentenced to death-- of course he thinks about you...it just probably isn't the way you hope!
Intrigued? If your year is off to a slow start pick up this sure to be best-seller! Remember, all profits will help pay for Amber's escort services. Can you imagine she will ever blind date again?
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