There is a push to get Ms. Winfrey the 2006 Nobel Prize for Peace.
That's nice and everything, but unless she can film the ceremony for a TV special, to be aired at a later date, on ABC, and NOT be bumped for a presidential speech, I don't think it will be a go. Would Halle Berry star as Oprah?
She could invite musical guests (and past nominee's) Bono and Bob Geldoff to serenade her, but don't think for a moment that Fiddy cent, Ice Cube, or Ludarcis will be there in the audience- those seats will be saved for the, "rich white older ladies that she caters to.." or so the latest hip-hop rumor goes. And actually, it'd be Rachel Ray who'd do the catering.
The real question is, does Oprah deserve it? Kristie Alley, live from her newly remodeled home (and Jenny Craig body) says yes! All those folks who have driven away in new car say yes! Dr. Phil says, "now wait just a minute...err, Yes!" Infact, outside of hip-hop stars, Texas beef cattlers, and Hermes employees, all the world says yes! Get off the couch Tom, we see you support her.
Screw "The Color Purple" Tony nominations, just give Oprah the Nobel Peace Prize!
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
on my radar: keith richards
It's taken a coconut tree to do what no other drug has been able to do: slow Keith Richards down.
The Rolling Stones deny that Richards has suffered any brain damage from his fall. True, I am sure it all happened years before he fell out of the coconut tree. While he is under doctors care, and legal medication (for once), I hope they search to find out what has grown in in the place of his kidney and liver; those organs took a hike a long time ago.
There's no truth to the rumor that during his physical doctors help sedate him by diluting his IV with Jack Daniel's; it was definitely tequila. Doctors did discover the Nelson twins residing in his hair when they were finally able to wash and run a comb through Keith's mangy mane.
Ozzie and Harriet can now rest at ease knowing their grandchildren have been found.
The Rolling Stones deny that Richards has suffered any brain damage from his fall. True, I am sure it all happened years before he fell out of the coconut tree. While he is under doctors care, and legal medication (for once), I hope they search to find out what has grown in in the place of his kidney and liver; those organs took a hike a long time ago.
There's no truth to the rumor that during his physical doctors help sedate him by diluting his IV with Jack Daniel's; it was definitely tequila. Doctors did discover the Nelson twins residing in his hair when they were finally able to wash and run a comb through Keith's mangy mane.
Ozzie and Harriet can now rest at ease knowing their grandchildren have been found.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
bird flu plans
The government is looking out for you when it comes to bird flu; yes, this is the same government that has you covered when disasters happen, so, I feel about as safe and secure as a Mississippi homeowner who lived in the path of Katrina…and is still waiting on assistance.
It is interesting to note that FEMA, the department that is supposed to plan for and react in emergencies, was not the agency that developed the bird flu guidelines. What are they doing these days, trying to hang the ‘Mission Accomplished” banner across the Gulf States?
Regardless, Georgie wants you safe, and so he’s doing something about it! His first efforts to stave off the avian flu are to reduce the number of birds in America; all condors, spotted owls, and bald eagles are off the endangered species list. Additionally, because influenza is so high communicable, he will no longer allow birds to be show in theaters or on television; Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, Tweety, and Big Bird have all been quarantined till further notice. Government watchdog groups have are also keeping an eye out to see if “W” tries to erase any historical/political references to Dan Quayle’s bungled service under his fathers time in office.
Finally, it is to be noted that the president “really wants the Republicans to win” in the Fall elections or else he will become a lame duck president and be more susceptible to catching the flu.
In related news, the president’s approval ratings have gotten so low that now more people are willing to catch the bird flu than those who approve of the presidents job performance (Laura wasn’t polled).
It is interesting to note that FEMA, the department that is supposed to plan for and react in emergencies, was not the agency that developed the bird flu guidelines. What are they doing these days, trying to hang the ‘Mission Accomplished” banner across the Gulf States?
Regardless, Georgie wants you safe, and so he’s doing something about it! His first efforts to stave off the avian flu are to reduce the number of birds in America; all condors, spotted owls, and bald eagles are off the endangered species list. Additionally, because influenza is so high communicable, he will no longer allow birds to be show in theaters or on television; Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, Tweety, and Big Bird have all been quarantined till further notice. Government watchdog groups have are also keeping an eye out to see if “W” tries to erase any historical/political references to Dan Quayle’s bungled service under his fathers time in office.
Finally, it is to be noted that the president “really wants the Republicans to win” in the Fall elections or else he will become a lame duck president and be more susceptible to catching the flu.
In related news, the president’s approval ratings have gotten so low that now more people are willing to catch the bird flu than those who approve of the presidents job performance (Laura wasn’t polled).
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