Underachievers and slackers alike bemoan March Madness, version 2006.
For those who have never really amounted to much, the NCAA “dance” allows them to feel like an athlete for 3 weeks without the slightest of efforts. It’s their chance to shine, but not sweat. It’s that month of glory that enables geeks to say, ‘I too can read a sports page and act like I know sports and put a bracket together.”
With the right guesses and ample bottles of beer in the fridge, millions of has-beens can once again feel like a winner without ever having to heed the urge to aim higher, run faster, or go further; all these weekend warriors need is just a little luck (much like the George Mason Patriots). The only irony here is that the little team that could (the George Mason Patriots) has wiped out virtually everybody’s brackets, and now, for all those couch potatoes who dreamt that their bracket choices could turn them into the “3-6-Mafia” of March Madness, instead finds themselves in the shoes of Dolly Parton- a shoo-in as a winner, yet nothing to show for it!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
My Coke Rewards
Curiosity got the best of me...
If you've been watching March Madness, Coca-Cola has been running ads for their website that links you to "coke rewards". This website, "mycokerewards.com", permits loyal buyers to go and see if they have won instant prizes hidden under the caps of their soda.
When I went to "mycokerewards.com", this is what I found:
The grand prize links you to an ebay account where John Delorean is selling one of his automobiles.
Runner-up prizes include:
1. A copy of Kate Moss's cancelled modeling contracts
2. A signed bankruptcy fore closure notice from Tom Sizemore
3. A list of all of Robert Downey Jr.'s movie credits (two from "Less Than Zero"!)
4. Boy George's frock with "surprise baggies in the pockets"
5. A roster of the NBA and each players police report, courtesy of "thesmokinggun.com"
6. A glass pipe with Whitney Houston's lipstick streaked on it
7. A bloody Kleenex from Axl Rose
Ah, these rewards are "the real thing!"
If you've been watching March Madness, Coca-Cola has been running ads for their website that links you to "coke rewards". This website, "mycokerewards.com", permits loyal buyers to go and see if they have won instant prizes hidden under the caps of their soda.
When I went to "mycokerewards.com", this is what I found:
The grand prize links you to an ebay account where John Delorean is selling one of his automobiles.
Runner-up prizes include:
1. A copy of Kate Moss's cancelled modeling contracts
2. A signed bankruptcy fore closure notice from Tom Sizemore
3. A list of all of Robert Downey Jr.'s movie credits (two from "Less Than Zero"!)
4. Boy George's frock with "surprise baggies in the pockets"
5. A roster of the NBA and each players police report, courtesy of "thesmokinggun.com"
6. A glass pipe with Whitney Houston's lipstick streaked on it
7. A bloody Kleenex from Axl Rose
Ah, these rewards are "the real thing!"
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Domestic Disputes
Although the government seems to have extracted itself from turbulent waters (or ports to be more exact) in the last few days, there still seems to be an alarming rise in domestic disputes going on.
No one blinks when you hear about Bobby Brown being arrested, AGAIN, these days. The fact thats he's got more mug shots of him than a 4A high school has of students is what should be disturbing! The question about his latest incident is how in the world could he go for over 14 years from the time of the crime to finally being arrested for it? He's not Houdini, he's not low profile, and he doesn't play off as being all that bright; so is it the police we blame? If it's the police, and they can't even catch up with Bobby Brown, how do we expect them to sniff out terrorists? Suddenly I don't feel so safe any more! Thank you very much Bobby!
And what about Yanni? I had to read that twice! "Yanni held in a domestic violence dispute". What did he do, abuse her with boredom and pan flutes? Is playing too much elevator music in the kitchen akin to assault with a dull object? Why do I see throw pillows, long wavy white shirts, and smoldering incense candles as part of the crime scene?
And then you get news that David Hasselhoff is at it too! What did he do, make his wife watch "Baywatch" and listen to his cd's? Did he snap when she mixed his red life guard shorts with her whites and turned everything pink? Or did she just tell him he was lame and he couldn't handle it?
Maybe the new line of thinking is, "if Cheney can do it, why can't I?...I mean, I didn't use a gun.
No one blinks when you hear about Bobby Brown being arrested, AGAIN, these days. The fact thats he's got more mug shots of him than a 4A high school has of students is what should be disturbing! The question about his latest incident is how in the world could he go for over 14 years from the time of the crime to finally being arrested for it? He's not Houdini, he's not low profile, and he doesn't play off as being all that bright; so is it the police we blame? If it's the police, and they can't even catch up with Bobby Brown, how do we expect them to sniff out terrorists? Suddenly I don't feel so safe any more! Thank you very much Bobby!
And what about Yanni? I had to read that twice! "Yanni held in a domestic violence dispute". What did he do, abuse her with boredom and pan flutes? Is playing too much elevator music in the kitchen akin to assault with a dull object? Why do I see throw pillows, long wavy white shirts, and smoldering incense candles as part of the crime scene?
And then you get news that David Hasselhoff is at it too! What did he do, make his wife watch "Baywatch" and listen to his cd's? Did he snap when she mixed his red life guard shorts with her whites and turned everything pink? Or did she just tell him he was lame and he couldn't handle it?
Maybe the new line of thinking is, "if Cheney can do it, why can't I?...I mean, I didn't use a gun.
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