Tuesday's Resolutions Role Models

Tick-tock, tick-tock. It’s just one simple week into the new year—how are those resolutions going? Anyone tired of Amber Frey (and Gloria Allred) already?


I’m looking over the annual to-do list and I’m thinking, how can Hollywood help me achieve my resolutions? Then I realized, there are role models everywhere, if you just look hard enough (actually, you barely have to look at all, they will find us)!

1. “I want to help children”—who better than Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to be influencing the next generation? Fox had them lined up to be substitute teachers in the 3rd iteration of “the Simple Life”, until parents complained. Don’t you want your kids to understand the value of $1 million dollars and learn how that pesky home camera works?
2. “Keeping secrets—The Pitts that go split”. They claim for weeks now they have known about their impending separation announcement, but they didn’t want to overshadow the ending of “Friends”, or the premiere of “Oceans 12”. Realizing that is a span of almost 6 months, they certainly knew how to keep their split a super secret!
3. “Earn more money”. Anna Nicole, recently having her lawsuit overturned, suddenly is out $88 million. Her lawyer quickly stated they would fight this grievous betrayl, in court. What a way to earn an honest buck—strip and sue for it!
4. “Be healthier”—George Carlin finally goes in for rehab! Who didn’t see this coming decades ago? Well, now that he’s on the bandwagon, I will be too!
5. “Get more sleep”—I do want to rest more, but I am afraid that if I sleep like Liza Minelli, I won’t be able to afford the doctor’s bill! What’s up with almost inducing a coma when ya fall out of bed asleep?

I hope this helps inspire all of you to keep at those resolutions! If Hollywood can do it, we can to!