Unlike the Michael Jackson trial, this email has been sent to you on time. No “Tuesday” staffers will be leaving due to “personal reasons” and then signing on with P-Diddy. No children, satanic turtles (buy it on eBay!), rain forests, or kin of Joan Crawford were harmed in the writing of this email. Slight blows to one’s ego (or Hall of Fame chances) might occur as we begin our initial dissent; please dispose of all needles and deny any use of steroids while under oath. Please fasten your seat belts on you and any passenger’s who might be traveling in your vehicle in case Paula Abdul is in your town and driving next to you. This email has been approved by the official “Tuesday” committee, which was called into legislation way after midnight and signed by President Bush after the said author began to refuse food because he really believe major league baseball was clean. At no time, upon any marriage, will I attempt to change my title from “Her Highness the Duchess of Cornwall (what did Cornwall do wrong to get the honor?) to simply “Queen Cammy” even though in London it appears it is legal for her to become queen. All women wishing to marry Scott Peterson should have to go on a “dinner date” with Robert Blake first. New Yorkers who “won” only to “lose” their lottery claims will be compensated $8.50/day plus travel to Alameda County, California, to fill in for the black and Jewish folks who have been kept off juries in capital cases, unless President Bush plans to intervene on said cases.
Phew!!! Are we still in March?
Oh yeah…go Washington Huskies!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment