Carson Kressley: sashay aside.
Elton John: you’ve been demoted.
Tom Cruise: don’t bother.
Seems like there’s a new crop of drama queens on the scene and they’ve landed in the most unexpected place (besides the new edition of Merriam’s dictionary, along with unibrow and mouse potato for starters): major league sports. No, this ain’t your run of the mill whiner, this is classic grade “A” bad acting, injury faking, scene-stealing, and “dive” taking that can only be found in one place, but oh how common it is in this location, the soccer field. I finally know why a soccer field is dubbed a “pitch”, because once you step onto it, you are almost 100% likely to pitch a fit within the next 90 minutes of regulation play!
The last time I saw someone fake emotions as well as the soccer players faked injuries was when I was watching Michael Jackson kiss Lisa Marie on MTV (and trust me, no one bought that either!). Having just been exposed to World Cup play, I never realized how much acting goes into playing; you can’t get away with that in football (American, that is)! When’s the last time you saw a football player get loaded onto a stretcher only to jump back off it and get back into the game? It was downright amusing to see how these people worked the system to: slow the game, stop momentum, or just get a water break, by way of faking a foul.
Maybe I can try that at work sometime when I am afraid of missing a deadline. I can see it now, I’ll just crumple over and cry till I get an extension. If not, I could always headbutt the person and receive an extra “vacation day”. Good way of getting out of the work.
Other things I learned by watching World Cup: I need to take my clothes off more when I celebrate. Hugging men is okay if done in a sports arena. Tailgating ain’t nothing compared to what soccer fans do. Soccer’s one of the true sports where you have to be in-shape to play. They still have funny rules. Size doesn’t always matter (little countries can pull big upsets)!
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