Traveling tips for hitmaker Dallas Austin:
When traveling to Dubai to celebrate Naomi Campbell’s birthday in the United Arab Emirate’s skeikdom, remember that it’s Kate Moss who likes cocaine! And if you are dumb enough to travel with cocaine, and it’s not going to be given as a present, use it up before entering the country!
If you opt not to follow the directions offered above, pack a few extra clothes! One weekend “blow” out equals two months of jail time (minus a 4-year sentence when pardoned by the ruler).
When apologizing for being caught with cocaine in a foreign nation, realize that when you apologize and say, “I did not mean to break the rules of this country”, drugs are virtually illegal anywhere you might ever visit! And, it’s good to know that although you broke Dubai’s strict drug laws, possession also breaks the US drug laws…but I’m sure he knew that.
If you visit Pakistan with drugs, and get caught, and get thrown into jail, beware: you may wake up with a light bulb in your rectum (true story- not mine!).( Reuters) Updated: 4:40 a.m. ET July 3, 2006, MULTAN, Pakistan - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass light bulb in his anus. No telling how many people it took to screw it in…
If you visit North Korea, stay away from bomb jokes while going through security.( North Korea defends its missile tests and promises more to come, but U.S. officials tell CNN there are no signs that Pyongyang is preparing to launch another long-range Taepodong missile.
If you visit Russia, make sure your belly is clean if you meet with President Putin (he may try to kiss it) (MOSCOW, Russia (Reuters) -- Vladimir Putin's decision to stop a small boy as he walked through the Kremlin and kiss his stomach was prompted by a desire to "touch him like a kitten," the Russian president said on Thursday.
And just in general, don’t hang out with “freebird” Lil’ Kim (although jail time has certainly made “lil” somewhat of a misnomer). Your momma would tell you that much!
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