on my radar: drug testing

The International Federation of Political Performance Reviews (IFPPR) has reversed its earlier decision to not drug test US Sec.of State Condelezza Rice over her recent performance during the Middle East crisis. "This should not come as a surprise to anyone," Dr. Uri Taint'd said as he met with journalist earlier today. "Usually every major politician is tested when they perform within the arena of international politics; regardless of the outcome of their performance. Just because Ms. Rice has failed to make any significant improvement to the situation does not preclude her from being under the influence of (political) performance enhancing drugs," Mr. Taint'd said. President Bush has balked at the testing, stating, “Condi hasn’t done a single thing (to warrant testing)!” Recent US polls tend to support him on that assertion, with most American’s agreeing, “..she hasn’t done a single thing…”.

The last known, and uncontested, positive drug-test dates back into the early Sixties when during a stellar performance of pounding his shoe on the podium during a UN meeting, Mr. Khrushchev's blood was found to be way over the legal limit of political testosterone. Because of his failure to pass the drug-test and the mounting cold war between Russia and the US, the US was granted one political coup, which was quickly used less than a year later, during the Cuban Missile crisis, when the US successfully enforced an embargo of Cuba by Soviet ships.