on my radar: pact with the devil

Assessing the landscape of current events and pop culture it appears that there is a new Dorian Grey in our midst's, or is it better to reference this person as the Faust of our day? He can, seemingly, do no wrong and yet everyone who has been around him and left his company, can do no right; one might become suspicious that the devil might be at play with this young'ens career (no, I'm not referring to the creator of Ugg's or a certain "adopted" Malawian child). Has Justin Timberlake sold his soul to the Prada wearing devil for a golden career?

Justin Timberlake seems impervious to misfortune: he's got a hit song and cd, has a hot $20 million-dollar babe of a girlfriend, has several movies coming out, a clothing line, and can even start imitating Wacko-Jacko and not be ridiculed!!! What gives?

Let's look at the facts, while he thrives, his ex's barely survive:

Britney, now with K-joke, enough said.
NSYNC? Where they go? Out of step I'd say.
Lance Bass: first he can't get a shuttle ride to the moon, now he's gay (not that there's anything wrong with it) and stuck with money/publicity hungry Reichen.
And let's not forget Janet (although much of the world appears to have...) On public TV he gets to second base with her and now she can't even get a hit. While Justin has the world singing "Sexyback", Janet's wishing someone would help get her career back.

So you tell me, is it all coincidence, or is there devil's play in God's country?

on my radar: shopping trips

Theologians across the country are watching the criminal proceedings in Utah this week, observing if further erosion of church versus state will occur in the Redd vs. Redd charges.

The accused, Julia and Leumel Redd, parents of the plaintiff, Julianna Redd-Myers, have been charged with the kidnapping of their daughter on the day before her wedding. Mrs. and Mr. Redd fooled Julianna into believing they were going shopping and instead kidnapped her and drove to Colorado in hopes of stopping her from marrying Perry Myers.

The Mormon family has cited freedom from criminal persecution under the division of church and state; they claim there is a little know verse in the book of Mormon that justifies their actions and thus they should be free from the criminal process. The passage, 'thou shall not do stupid things", as interpreted by the Redd's includes kidnapping of-legal age children to enforce their own will. Julianna, 21, capable of making her own decisions has also interpreted the verse and has pressed charges against her parents, stating, "I hope they will get help".

In unrelated news, George H. and Barbara Bush, noting the recent polls, have decided to make a surprise visit to Washington, DC. and visit their son George W.. They say they'd like to take him on a little shopping trip...

on my radar: wham's rap

Rep. Mark Foley denies having written any emails to George Michael. This comes after claims that George Michael was simply awaiting a text message back from Rep. Foley when he fell asleep at the wheel of his car, in a suburb of Northern London last evening; never mind the fact that this is the fourth occurrence of this erratic behavior in the past 8 months. Friends of George Michael secretly fear he is desperately trying to win the role of James Dean in an upcoming Hollywood biography, and thus continues to emulate scenes from Dean's last moments alive. Reality: no such movie is being made.

Regardless of the circumstances of these incidents, Mel Gibson has reached out to George Michael to find out what exactly he has been taking that allows him to go for a drive and then fall asleep before the police find him.

Note: it would have been way too easy to title this "George's friend urge him to wake up before he go-go's."

on my radar: spinach!

Farmer's who grow spinach have decided to repackage their product with a picture of Popeye stating the tag line, "what doesn't kill ya only makes you stronger". Dallas Cowboy's player Terrell Owens had been up for the spokesperson role, but seeing how doctors have just confirmed that his last night's dinner recipe was a spinach and ambient casserole, they have thought better of it. There's currently no proof that the casserole was made by none other than Donovan McNabb's mother; although an empty Chunky Soup label was found in the garbage can at T.O's home.

In other news, the Bush Administration has sent over tons of spinach to Venezuelan President Chavez's and to Fidel Castro, wishing them both good healthy and speedy recoveries