Dear Old MacDonald,
Do any of the following descriptions apply to your current cattle?
Unhappy Holstein?
Bad-mood Bovine?
Cranky Calf?
Grumpy Grazer?
If you said yes to any of the above you may have an “Elsie” just a few frayed nerves away from Mad Cow Disease! But have no fear, help is near! Before you find out that you have more than just a “bummed steer” send your cattle to the new stress reduction course developed by McDonald’s, Burger King, and Wendy’s (mad-cows make bad beef!), “Anger Management for Cows on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown”. This class is highly recommended by the USDA and is considered a Top Choice!
Symptoms for cows on the verge can be:
- sour milkshakes that don’t bring any boys to the yard
- hostility shown during the round-up, also known as “round-up rage”
- mooing that almost sounds maniacal (bad “moo’s” is bad news for business!)
- curdled cottage cheese
- constant cud chewing (it’s a nervous tick!)
So, before it’s too late and the beef can’t be saved, rattle your cattle to the call of the bad beef battle! “Anger Management for Cows on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown”…watch for it, it’s coming to a farm near you!
All failing cows are sent to finishing school at McDonald’s University.
Sincerely Yours,
The Chic-fil-A Folks!
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