Just in time for the holidays!
Every year new behaviors emerge, some take hold, like expecting a crappy "big name musician" to sing Christmas carols and steal the 10 bucks that it costs to buy the sucker (if you haven't downloaded it already) or suing "Borat" and become traditions, but some just never get the foothold to become a tradition like "cranberries and stuffing" flavored soda to be served with thanksgiving dinner or Justin Guarini becoming a music star, and wither away after just one season.
Older-aged white woman everywhere, Michael Richards, and a few minorities (but not rap artists) mark the end of November as that most Oprah-rific tradition time of the year, when "The Lady O" dons the guise of all three wise-people and imparts the gift of expensive gift giving ideas (but no Hermes scarves!) to her audience around the globe.
This year, Gayle's missus even out did herself, rolling her favorite things episode with her book club recommendation into one crazy show..."Oprah's favorite book and gifts suggestions" show.
Oprah stunned the crowd when she not only announced her new book, but also introduced the author, live on TV, OJ Simpson and his psuedo-biography "If I did it"; "take that James Frey", OJ said a he entered the studio.
After gushing about how "imaginative" OJ must have been to write this book, Oprah introduced, and gave each member of the audience (no Goldman or Brown family member were able to claim prizes. If you can't receive the civil judgement award, why get Oprah's?) "her favorite things" as selected by OJ and featured in the book, such as:
Bruno Magli shoes
leather gloves that don't fit
bloodstained clothes
White Broncos
support letter from Michael Jackson
and some clumps of hair and blood stuck on a knife
When wrapping the show, OJ hinted that this was just the start of a book series he will be writing called..."If...." with future titles like, "If I shot Lincoln", " If I kidnapped the Lindberg baby", If I shot Jack Ruby", and most compelling "If I ran the Zoo" and "If I told the truth".
All featured items can be found on Oprah's website, "Giving OJ wings network".
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
on my radar: wonderbread
~Save the music, reject the whitebread~
There are countless things in life I don't get; if I had to keep track of them, I'd say I'm nearing the two thousand mark, give or take a few hundred. See, I look up stuff if I don't understand it and I read lots of nerdy things that helps me, more or less, keep my "finger on the pulse" of things, but then I spent several years at Backstreet and that wipes out some of my knowledge, and in a pinch, I make things up, which then may be catalogued as fact in my brain when it's really just a "Bush or Rumsfeld-ism", so when it's all said and done (phew) my math (old math- just fingers and toes) puts me somewhere near the 2,000 mark. Oh yeah, tangents can also distract me from fully counting up to the actual number of things I don't get...one thousand three hundred four, one thousand three hundred five, one thousand...LaLinsey just called Paris a what???!!! Damn, where was I?
See, I just get so damn distracted, but my point is, and I'll starting the counting over again...points 1 and 2 of things I just don't get...John Mayer and (gasp) The Dave Matthews Band (DMB- whatever). No need to defend them, their music pukes for itself.
They say Wonderbread has no value..."Save the Music, reject the whitebread".
There are countless things in life I don't get; if I had to keep track of them, I'd say I'm nearing the two thousand mark, give or take a few hundred. See, I look up stuff if I don't understand it and I read lots of nerdy things that helps me, more or less, keep my "finger on the pulse" of things, but then I spent several years at Backstreet and that wipes out some of my knowledge, and in a pinch, I make things up, which then may be catalogued as fact in my brain when it's really just a "Bush or Rumsfeld-ism", so when it's all said and done (phew) my math (old math- just fingers and toes) puts me somewhere near the 2,000 mark. Oh yeah, tangents can also distract me from fully counting up to the actual number of things I don't get...one thousand three hundred four, one thousand three hundred five, one thousand...LaLinsey just called Paris a what???!!! Damn, where was I?
See, I just get so damn distracted, but my point is, and I'll starting the counting over again...points 1 and 2 of things I just don't get...John Mayer and (gasp) The Dave Matthews Band (DMB- whatever). No need to defend them, their music pukes for itself.
They say Wonderbread has no value..."Save the Music, reject the whitebread".
on my radar: a fable
Her blood-red nails strummed rapidly against her expansive chin; powdered and overly made-up, her look created a reaction that encouraged others to stay away, thus creating yet another layer between her and the world around her. But what need did she really have for this world? It's not where she belonged; she resided here to find the acceptance she could never obtain from her own people and to defeat the nemesis that refused to be destroyed.
Thus she struggled to fit in: the surroundings, the industry, and chiefly, her skin. She was bothered this night and you could tell. Her glare could melt the flesh of another if she didn't break away her gaze. How tempted she was to unleash that power on the twit that just took her trophy. She felt the rumbling in her stomach; a hunger that had been fed a steady diet of gin and regrets all-night, tempered only by the bitter salty tears that she drank in to quench her thirst and quell her appetite. She was hungry for revenge- she didn't like people taking what she thought was rightfully hers.
With the commercial break over and the audience beckoning, she began the transformation, shifting her shape to fit the image they all still saw, the image she believed would get her the reward she sought, the Grammy. But the spell was breaking, more of her true self was showing, she hoped they'd all just chalk it up to weight gain... Ursula (queen of the world under the sea) once again transfigured into Mariah.
Thus she struggled to fit in: the surroundings, the industry, and chiefly, her skin. She was bothered this night and you could tell. Her glare could melt the flesh of another if she didn't break away her gaze. How tempted she was to unleash that power on the twit that just took her trophy. She felt the rumbling in her stomach; a hunger that had been fed a steady diet of gin and regrets all-night, tempered only by the bitter salty tears that she drank in to quench her thirst and quell her appetite. She was hungry for revenge- she didn't like people taking what she thought was rightfully hers.
With the commercial break over and the audience beckoning, she began the transformation, shifting her shape to fit the image they all still saw, the image she believed would get her the reward she sought, the Grammy. But the spell was breaking, more of her true self was showing, she hoped they'd all just chalk it up to weight gain... Ursula (queen of the world under the sea) once again transfigured into Mariah.
Friday, November 10, 2006
on my radar: the republican way
This week it appears the Democrats are scoring one of their "best weeks ever"; Republicans, not so much. If I may borrow from my sweet Celia, about the only Bush supporter who came out better on Wednesday was Britney Spears; not only did she fight against the Defense of Marriage Act, she now will only use UPS for her shipping needs, seeing how Kevin is now the Fed-ex (sorry Todd).
Other scuttlebutt to deal with since the elections: the White House will only be serving vodka (but none to Laura if she's in a driving mood, or the girls!) now that's there's no more Rummy.
The elections also put a few more (non-Congressional) people out of work, namely liberal comedians. The Daily News was considering switching to Rush Limbaugh (yet another sad attempt to become relevant, seeing how taking on Canadian's with disabilities didn't go over too well) but the honchos figured the Democrats will do enough stupid things to keep John Stewart busy and "Rush" really isn't one without his oxycotin supply (and no one can find that maid to get it filled for him).
And well hey, while talking about winning and losing contests, here's Faith Hill with her tips for losing gracefully while on camera....oops, wait, where'd she go?
Other scuttlebutt to deal with since the elections: the White House will only be serving vodka (but none to Laura if she's in a driving mood, or the girls!) now that's there's no more Rummy.
The elections also put a few more (non-Congressional) people out of work, namely liberal comedians. The Daily News was considering switching to Rush Limbaugh (yet another sad attempt to become relevant, seeing how taking on Canadian's with disabilities didn't go over too well) but the honchos figured the Democrats will do enough stupid things to keep John Stewart busy and "Rush" really isn't one without his oxycotin supply (and no one can find that maid to get it filled for him).
And well hey, while talking about winning and losing contests, here's Faith Hill with her tips for losing gracefully while on camera....oops, wait, where'd she go?
Thursday, November 02, 2006
on my radar: OEDIPUS RETCHES
Why does Alabama get such a bad rap?
Alabama teen charged with raping his mom
So few words are needed after seeing the headline...YUCK!!!
The key points to this story:
2 brothers are fighting over a girl.
One brother decides to get back at the other brother
He heads home to the trailer park
49 year old mom is passed out drunk on couch...
She wakes up
he's not done
she struggles
he finishes
police are called...
yuck...I need to go wash my typing fingers.
Alabama teen charged with raping his mom
So few words are needed after seeing the headline...YUCK!!!
The key points to this story:
2 brothers are fighting over a girl.
One brother decides to get back at the other brother
He heads home to the trailer park
49 year old mom is passed out drunk on couch...
She wakes up
he's not done
she struggles
he finishes
police are called...
yuck...I need to go wash my typing fingers.
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