Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Tuesday's with the Sith at the Lancome Counter

Even the baddest of bad guys cares about how they look in the heat of the battle!!

Killing good people and destroying universes can be extremely taxing on one’s nerves, not to mention ones complexion!

True fact: The Sith were the original inventors of facial masks!
Yes it’s true! While in exiled, and plotting their revenge on far distant planets, the Sith also fretted over how the blazing suns of Tatooine and other conquered planets were creating wrinkles prematurely. Over the years, and when they returned from battle, they began experimenting with different aloes and minerals; each creation aiming to be the perfect masque for healing their toasty and wrinkled skin. Some just didn’t appear work as was the case for Darth Sidious (who’s got more wrinkles than him: Vincent Price or a Sharpei puppy?)- now we know why he kept himself under wraps! Then you get those that downright backfired; Darth Maul jumps to mind! If he weren’t so hellbent on killing all the Jedi Knights and Senators, he could have tried to work with them to pass some new legislation around facial crèmes and SPF! Finally it was Darth Vader who figured it out! He just wrapped himself in a hard plastic shell; but what he didn’t realize was the damage he was doing by not removing the mask periodically to exfoliate. Well!!! For those who saw Star Wars 6, let that be a lesson to you! You still need to moisturize and let your skin breathe!

Just remember acne and wrinkles don’t care if you are Jabba the Hutt or a Mandolorian named Boba Fett…get yourself some moisturizer! Besides the Force, it seems like that knowledge (along with a gift certificate from the Lancome counter) was what Darth Vader was able to pass onto his fairly complexed children!

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