Friday, November 30, 2007

on my radar: ode to my appendix

It's been 7 hours and 15 days,
Since they my appendix away
They took it out and I slept all day
Since they took my useless organ away
Since it's been gone I can't do whatever I want
I can't see whomever I choose (damn awful daytime tv)
I can't eat in a fancy restaurant
But something
I said something that takes away the blues
Vicodin...
Nothing compares to you!

My intestine's so lonely without you near
Like Tara Reid without a thong
Nothing can stop my "daytime tv doldrums" tears from falling
Tell me Drew Carey where did I go wrong
I can't put my arms around anybody I see
It only causes me pain
I went to my emergency room and guess what they told me
Guess what he told me?
He said boy, it's gotta go
No matter what you do
But that's not cool
'Cause nothing goes
Nothing will go, to where my appendix grew!

All the white blood cells I acquired, mama
In my insides
All died down when it went away
I know that living without you is no big deal
And i don't have to cry
But nothing makes me sadder
Unless they next go for the equally useless gallbladder!

3 comments:

armalicious said...

Did you shave your head for this ode? Too funny. You are tres good with lyrics, yo.

EF said...

hey there 'licious! I didn't have to shave my head...but there was some shaving below my belly button prior to the surgery!

Radioactive Tori said...

Excellent.

Vicodin is my favorite drug, but I can't take it without some constipatin issues. I have no idea why I shared that with you just now...sorry.