on my radar: uncontacted tribes surface

One of the few remaining American uncontacted tribes was photographed yesterday by Annie Lebowitz, and a handful of press photographers, on the outskirts of largely impenetrable, previously unexplored, ranch in Crawford, Texas.

The compound is considered to have been out of touch with all other Americans for over the past 50 years, or so.

The "Bush-men" were sighted in an Ethno-Environmental Protected Area (meaning only old white oil-owning clans can live on the ranch) along the North Tonk Creek, in flights over remote Acre state, where Dick Cheney likes to hunt for McClellan clans.

Annie said she photographed "strong and healthy" warriors, six huts, lots of springer spaniels, young girls in bed sheets and large oil fields adjacent to a wedding chapel. It was not known to which tribe they belonged- some guess Warren Jeffs, others think the Bushes and some said the Hannah Montana's.

"Four distinct isolated peoples exist in this region, whom we have accompanied for 20 years," The Waco folks have been previously contacted, the Jeffs are currently detained and housed by the government, so that leaves just the George and George W's left.

The tribe sighted recently is one of the last not to be contacted by officials nor fazed by any official policies or procedures. Most opt to not make contact with such tribes and defer decision-making to lo-country boils and moonshine festivals.

Survival International said the Bushes are in danger from illegally running an economy and government into the ground. Former employees are also proving to be a threat to their isolation.

There are more than 100 uncontacted "tribes" nationwide, most of them are Republicans and in office", a recent census showed.
"These pictures are further evidence that uncontacted tribes really do exist," Survival director Hillary Clinton said.

"The world needs to wake up to this, and ensure that their territory (especially Michigan and Florida)is protected in accordance with international law. But if the laws don't protect them, we can always create new ones that do, otherwise, they will soon be made extinct." Ahem!

laughs for the long weekend

I'm off for a nice long weekend- enjoy yourselves and enjoy a few laughs on me, via "Ugly Betty"! Cheers!

on my radar: you're only beautiful if you read it in People

The beauty shop is open and the bitchiness is back- take a number!

Momma always said, "beauty is in the eye of the (remote control) holder", for they rule the roost and only allow us to watch what catches their eye- thank god in my family my sister was the one who usually won the fight!

People magazine has once again reminded me of how amazingly beautiful people can be when airbrushed, framed right, photo shopped and are camera ready to promote a new movie, book, cd, video, or has CAA repping for them! Wow! 100 BEAUTIFUL people- sounds like a circus show! What happened, did ET and Extra run out of publicity time for Hollywood and People got the exclusive? Kate Hudson as the most beautiful? Who is she sleeping with to get the crown? Oh yeah, Lance Armstrong. Ok, she seems like a ho, but then I got to thinking, so does he. Lance seems to sleep with quite a few women and no one gives him any grief- double standard to go with that double shot latte? I might have to hire Nancy Drew to investigate the case of the "Disappearing Drew Barrymore off the Magazine Rack (from cover to nothing in a single bound!)," who'd she quit sleeping with, Ben Affleck or Jimmy Kimmel?

And talking about double standards, where does the journalist prick David Gergen get off telling Hillary she must renounce racist votes? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??? Did he make the same statement to Obama? Hey, what about the sexist vote, or is being sexist ok? Shouldn't Obama apologize for men who won't vote for women or vice versa and make Hillary recant those feminist votes, too? And McCain, does he need to get rid of all the white male voters (gosh, where did the Republican party go?)who won't vote for a black or female? I didn't hear Mr Gergen address any of those issues; guess it's just Hillary who has to apologize for her supporters...what a crock!! Recuse those votes? Really? Have you forgotten 2000 so soon? We struggle counting votes that have been cast; how do you propose we get rid of the "bad ones."

Reality check! This country is full of racist, bigoted (begot?), sexist, ugly, compassionate, intelligent, beautiful and thoughtful people. Whether you like it our not, that's the character of our country and you can't make legitimate candidates apologize for what fringe groups choose to support them (unless you are Ferraro, Rev. Wright, or Haggee)- you don't need to endorse those views (if a candidate is pandering to that fringe group, then possibly, but I have yet to hear Hillary say, "give me your tired, weary, your racists votes..."), but you can't take away a persons right (or wrong) to be that way...or we'd be China or North Korea or Burma/Constantinople. The right to freedom does come at a cost- only Wal-Mart can give it to you at discount prices!

Reality check- size 10 isn't fat! Yippee for Whitney winning ANTM! As Tyra said, she shouldn't be called full-figured, she should just be called beautiful. Hating on the nay-sayers who say it's fixed- because even if it is, what a great platform to promote all shapes of beautiful (that Dove marketing campaign sucked), because People magazine won't do it unless you got something to hawk!

And that takes us right back to where we started...who's next?

Take us out James Blunt..."you're beautiful it's true, I saw your face, on People magazine, so it time to face the truth, I can never be with you and beauty will always be what the media tells us to be true"

on my radar: The Vagina Monologues

There appears to be no escaping chatter about the womb and things that occur within it this week, and that's to put it mildly...

Way to go Babs! Who knew the Queen of TV News was down and out with jungle fever way before Spike Lee ever had the lines "please baby, please baby, please baby please" uttered on film? Knowing about Barbra Walters sex life is about as titillating as thinking about my grandparents knocking it out while looking at the Kama Sutra Sex book- icky!! Yeah, "Sex in the City" happens, but that's not the kind that'll let me roll over and sleep after a cigarette; "The View" I get is me wide-eyed, staring at the ceiling, trying to think of puppy dogs and quiet alpine escapes yet constantly drawn back (kicking and screaming) to a vision of two delicate white hands, grasping tightly to two firm black cheeks, and a strange accent being overheard, "begging for more"... People want to read about it! "Auditions" is the #1 book!

Then there's Starr's Reynold's soon-to-be-ex Al, talking all about his manliness; whatever! The only monologue happening in that household was about Pilates, good dieting and why they both like the same type of man...Oh yes I did! Don't be telling stories that a bunch of boys in a hotel lobby can refute Mr. Reynolds- the closest he was getting to any action was with the butler, yet he still wants to be all that and a bag of chips to the ladies.

The blather (and hat) that heard round the world whips up the ladies from Manhattan: Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte, into our face, as the premiere for "Sex and the City" lights up Cannes. If there's ever going to be a discussion about sex, it's going to happen in this movie! Rumors to a death in the movie and bad advance screenings may require a tad bit more lube to get the juices flowing out of this story!

Not to mention the news of a 2nd young girl, from the FLDS, giving birth to a child- WTF!!! Kids having kids!!

And that's where I'm going to end it, not even mentioning the nasty rumor about McCain's errant and crude remark about his wife (and that derogatory term would fit in this post!), purportedly made, in public, BACK IN 92, because some stories should have an expiration date (or the sharing of them- Barbara!).

on my radar: strangeness

I have actually heard of this medical condition before, but not in such an extreme case. You may not want to read about this on a full tummy, but it is very fascinating (not gross, just odd). And here's a hint, if you have read Stephen King's, "The Dark Half," this malady is a major plot point.

Finally there's an answer to, "what's eating Gilbert Grape"...appears it was his sister!<

on my radar: the Mad Hatter's Other Ball

I'm hoping to get exclusive rights to SJP's hat, it is so versatile- I could use it for a table center piece, or a late Mother's Day bouquet, or a graveside floral arrangement, or send it to Heidi Montag in condolence of losing her job and sticking with "him". Wait, I'm not sure if she lost her job, but she should have- would any of you kept a job after behaving like she did? What was her job anyways (I could swear it was to get camera time for Bolthouse and SBE)? Did I see her taking notes and saying "OK" over and over, as if her notes would be anything more than "remember to reapply lipstick every twenty minutes and fiddle with hair whenever being filmed."

So now there's just wait till August (or read the rags daily) to find out what's next for "the other" 90210 gang. At least I can now focus on LOST!

on my radar: Wedding Bell Blues

I wonder if Jenna Bush will be using a Topsy Tale, the very clever hair braiding tool, as seen on TV, for her big 'do on her big day? Will she wear all-white and have just a seam of grey threading on her dress or will she think that we've all forgot her fake-ID ways and believe she made it through wilderness (better than Bear Gryllis), some how she made it through, conquering her bouts of feeling beat, incomplete; overcoming the fits of being sad and blue and still a virgin at the chapel?? Will the wedding rival Luke and Laura's? Or will it be fiascoesque like Amanda's was on "Dynasty" (the Moldavian massacre)- okay, I don't mean that in a morbid sense, but the wedding is in Crawford, Texas, so that's got to be somewhat depressing enough. Maybe they local authorities could put all the confiscated children from the Yearning for Zion polygamist ranch to work as flower girls and ring bearers- wouldn't they be adorable in muted colors and matching outfits! Or would they distract from the wedding program when Barbara Bush freaks out thinking "the children of the damned village" just got loose? Next thing you know you've got the scene from Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang ("our fine four fender friend") with little children everywhere and the adults scampering to get away from them. Guess it's best not to bring those kids to the wedding- they've seen enough within the compound already!

I'm so tired of second-guessing "WWJD", thank god her wedding day is finally here and all speculation will cease!

Do you think Dick Cheney was invited, and will they let him bring a gun to the reception? Will they allow his lesbian daughter, Mary, and her significant other, (but not in the eyes of any red-blooded Republican) to be present and seated next to one another? Do you think the first father-daughter dance will be "Isn't She Lovely" or will they go for something more hip and upbeat, like "Low". No, my mistake, scratch that, this wedding is in Texas, not the cellar of a house in Austria. Maybe it'll be the Ting-Ting's new song, "shut up and let me go", really, a great choice if you ask me. Do you think daddy has asked Jenna what she plans to spend her tax check on, or did she blow it on the wedding announcements already- no new money being pumped into the economy!

My closing thoughts, do you think the McCains sent a gift, and if so, will Cindy ever disclose what it is, a keg of beer and some steins perhaps? And finally, will daddy fall off the wagon when his little girl gets hitched, will he kick a few back and bring an eight ball to the reception, like in the old days?

on my radar: Primary Colors

Given the state of the things, I'm thinking the colors are black and blue and people seeing red all over.

Ah, another refreshing, self-induced, Democrat-bashing Tuesday; how do I celebrate thee? One can only hope that this "Primary Tuesday" will, for once and for all, resolve the "Never ending Story (the presidential version)." Deliberating on my most patriotic ways of celebrating the day, I recalled my Constitutionally-given freedom of clothing expression. Opting to not wear my Madonna wedding dress and gasket jewelry (although it does hark back to a more innocent time in politics), but still believing I've got a few minutes to save the world, I carefully selected what I thought would be the outfit that would make my smartest-ever political statement; I went for something a bit more contemporary. So I jumped through the shower and began to dress myself: opting away from my baggy sweat pants and my Reebok's with the straps, I put on my most favorite pair of apple bottom jeans and my boots with the fur (I know my co-workers will all be looking at me)! A twirl past the mirror said, "hell yeah!" I was ready to go!

I'm going to try and keep my composure through this very long day. Heck, if it's like the other primaries, we won't know answers till the wee hours of the morning, so there's no need freaking out now. Infact, the last time I freaked out, I just kept lookin' down, I st-st-stuttered when asked what I was thinkin' 'bout. It felt as if I couldn't breathe (you know, like being out in the water so deep with no air), someone asked what's wrong with me, my best friend said, Oh, he's just bein' silly. Oh, I can't wait for the votes to come in!

On the other side of the fence, the Republicans are looking at today as just another manic, oil guzzling Tuesday. While most American's are zipping to work, pumping more of the black gold "gin and juice" into their vehicles, draining their savings accounts while they are at it, McCain is basking in all the love he is receiving from his (country) club. As he gradually addresses the day, he chats up Cindy about last nights episode of "The Hills," trying to comprehend who it is that is supporting him (Heidi), why Lo is being so divisive with Audrina and Lauren, and how on earth did Justin Bobby become the sage of the show? Then he'll tackle the Myanmar("OH, Burma") issue.

on my radar: Playa haters

You know, if the Democrats ran the world (and that is still somewhat a hopeful notion),the New England Patriots would have had an undefeated season and been Superbowl champs this year.

Oh yeah, a crazy little thing called "regulation play" got in the way and the NY Giants won in the closing moments (hhmmm...political foreshadowing?) and the super Boston season went down in flames! Maybe we should shorten the game to 55 minutes to ensure that doesn't happen again, god forbid someone use all the time they are granted to pull a victory together and burst everyone else's bubble.

And so begins a rant about the Democratic Party. First, I would remove the notion that any delegates are "super" if they are bitching about the process they created and now don't like it! What a wanker that Joe Andrew is! Joe Andrews, the former head of the DNC had the audacity to claim, "a vote for Hillary Clinton is a vote to continue" a long, self-destructive Democratic campaign." Well hell, don't hate the playa, hate the game in which they have to play!

The Democrats can control what has turned into a mess! This primary process sucks and now they have to deal with it. If you don't want a dragged out process then set up a primary season that ends sooner (oops, Michigan and Florida did that and look what happened), or just get rid of the states you just don't like: tell Indiana and NC that "we don't really care what you say because you vote so late in the year!" The mere fact that states, who have rarely ever had a voice, for once matter, is being lost for a quick-fix solution to a problem the "leaders' of the party created: you want to dub them "Super"? Not me!

So it's damning to hear the leadership decry what's going on- a good old fashion democratic process; a vote for one, or another candidate, should represent that alone, not a vote for whether the process is lame or not!

Why should the people of NC or Indiana (or any state yet to vote) have to correct, through a symbolic gesture about the process, what they didn't screw up? Let their vote be for the person- not the process.

Don't like the outcome of dumb rules, fix them before the next game, but not midstream!