extreme make-over: foreclosure edition

This story so irked me! Good deeds once again get punished. AND, the nerve of the columnist to insinuate that the home foreclosure was another sign of the times (oh how not Princely of him!)! Crappy owners squandered everyones gifts on a business venture he didn't even have the knowledge to run! The father was not a business man, but thought he'd try his hand at construction....

LAKE CITY, Ga. (July ) - More than 1,800 people helped demolish the Harper family's decrepit home and replace it with a sparkling four-bedroom mini-mansion that towered over ranch and split-level homes in their Clayton County neighborhood.

But three years later, the Harper's home has become the latest victim of the foreclosure crisis after the family used it as collateral for a $450,000 loan. The two-level home is set to go to auction on the steps of the Clayton County Courthouse Aug. 5.

The couple did not return phone calls Monday, but they told WSB-TV they received the loan for a construction business that failed.

The house was built in January 2005, when Atlanta-based Beazer Homes USA and ABC's "Extreme Makeover" demolished their old home and its faulty septic system. Within six days, construction crews and hoards of volunteers had completed work on the largest home that the television program had yet built.

The finished product was a four-bedroom house with decorative rock walls and a three-car garage. The home's door opened into a lobby that featured four fireplaces, a solarium, a music room and a plush new office.

The couple, which ABC chose from some 15,000 applicants, spent the week on vacation in Disneyland while their home was being revamped.

Materials and labor were donated for the home, which would have cost about $450,000 to build. Beazer Homes' employees and company partners also raised $250,000 in contributions for the family, including scholarships for the couple's three children and a home maintenance fund.

A Beazer representative did not immediately return a telephone call seeking comment Monday.

ABC said in a statement that it advises each family to consult a financial planner after they get their new home. "Ultimately, financial matters are personal, and we work to respect the privacy of the families," the network said.

Neighbors said the Harpers opened the home to friends and described the family as quiet and friendly. Meanwhile, some of the volunteers who helped build the house are infuriated.

Lake City Mayor Willie Oswalt was among a handful of volunteers who helped vault a massive beam into place in the Harper's living room. He's less than thrilled with the couple's financial decisions.

"It's aggravating," he told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "It just makes you mad. You do that much work, and they just squander it."

on my radar: crane damage

What's up with all the falling cranes lately? Another one fell today in Oklahoma(where the wind goes whipping down the cranes...). In the past year there have been a couple accidents in NYC, as well as Denver and Seattle (and I'm not counting Kelsey Grammar's collapse as one) to note a few. They seem to be falling about as fast and often as a Miss Universe contestant from the USA, only with a heck of a lot more damage (and sadly, deaths).

That is not the way I want to go! One minute sitting at work, the next, a damn crane crashing through the ceiling, forever immortalizing my final few moments entangled in some stupid Outlook delay. That would really piss me off, or being on the phone, waiting for Comcast to help me (answer) and having the roof crash down on me.

I don't wish ill on anyone, but if a crane has to fall, couldn't it be on the recording studio of the 10-legged 'ho, aka "Danity Kane" "...do you got a first aide kit handy? ...baby I'm damaged." Don't they know it! Oh, joke for you. What do you get when you cross a reality person (Heidi Montag) with a presidential candidate (John McCain)? Danity McKane (reference the 'ho part of Danity). Or possibly hit the "House of Hogan". Why won't someone smite them? They need serious help that no TV should cover (unless with Dr. Drew). Someone drop a crane on them!

on my radar: family matters

Where's Urkel when you need someone to sort things out?

After surprising assault claims were filed by the sister and mother of "Batman" star Christian Bale, family members are now declining to discuss the case, stating "it's a family matter." Um, oh no it's not- when charges are filed it becomes a legal and very public matter- especially when the man charged stars in the biggest frickin' movie of the year! So I'm wondering, do the Welsh raise boys to assault their family members or do the Welsh not understand what publicity means? Something has got to give. Sure Wales toils under the popularity of England and gets less press, but come on! I think the claims are a tad "batty", and given the propensity of the English to use words that seem to be bigger than life (or is it that we Americans have simply diluted them?) perhaps the charge of "assault" there is not as severe as a charge of assault in the US is.

It goes something like this, say he spilled a drink, threw a drink, tossed their jackets, pushed by them to leave, threw napkins at them "making it rain" or something to that ilk, those could all technically be assault. Of course, hitting, kicking, biting, beating and clubbing them sense-less could also count. Au paires from England have had a few nasty run-ins with the laws stateside, perhaps too much shaking going on?

It's troubling that Batman just saved Gotham city and is still a looking like a bad guy (life imitating the movies?). Maybe he just ate some bad jalapenos or was under the hard candy influence of MaDonna and her Kabbalah magic or the she-devil Sienna Miller, she gives bad press a pretty face!

Say it ain't so Batman? Is he taking a hit for Two-face?

UPDATE: Speculation is that the "assault" charges surround an action that might be either a "push" or "shove" done to the estranged and inebriated family members who showed up uninvited to Bale's hotel asking for money...
Even superheros have family issues.

The count down is on for The Hills!

Get Ready For Season 4 of The Hills!

on my radar: don't be a dick

With a rap sheet that most gangster hip-hop artists would kill for (figuratively speaking, except for maybe lil' Kim), Andy Dick is fast cementing himself as the number menace to society and comedy patrons across the nation.

Having given up on dominating the airwaves with his dweebesque comedic persona, Andy's making himself a name on police rap sheets all over the place; not to mention creating a mug shot that only Mel Gibson, Nick Nolte or SideShow Bob would want.

Just look at some of his recent offenses and charges (excluding what he's done in the name of "entertainment"):
felony drug charges
sexual battery
causing a public disturbance
public indecency
urinating in public
misdemeanor marijuana possession

Beyond this it has also been noted that, "Dick has a reputation for crude behavior. He has been reported to have exposed himself to audiences at least twice. He was forcibly removed from the set of the show "Jimmy Kimmel Live" last year after he repeatedly touched guest Ivanka Trump without her permission.

Also last year, Dick was cited in Columbus, Ohio, for urinating on the sidewalk. A comedy club owner in the city said the actor also made inappropriate comments while onstage, groped patrons, took women into the men's room and urinated on the floor and on at least one person.

In 1999, Dick was arrested for possession of cocaine and marijuana after driving his car into a telephone pole in Hollywood, California. He pleaded guilty but the charges were dismissed after he went into a diversion program.

Does it enhance or distract from his image that the most recent claims comes from pulling down the tube top of a 17 year old female outside of a "Buffalo Wild Wings"?

And to top everything else off, just last week he got into a bitch fight with Jon Lovitz at a comedy club because Andy claimed to Jon he put the "Phil Hartman Hex" on Jon, saying Jon was going to die soon; Jon beat him up because of the comment (and apparently put a successful "Joesph Francis Jailbird Hex" on Andy to boot)!

musician + role model

Here's someone who has chosen to use her powers for good...bravo! Too bad the Kardashian's of the world can't follow suit- that tacky earthquake aide video did nothing to boost their image. Now maybe Khloe can sing along with Feist to determine how many days she'll be in jail...1,2,3,4...

on my radar: losing flavre ("flavor")

Why can't people who quit just stay quitters?

I know there are some things that, despite every best effort, you just can't quit:
Like Amy Winehouse and bad press, Kate Hudson and married men, Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist, or Carrie Bradshaw and shoe shopping, but when it come to sports legends finally hanging the jockstrap up, why do some choose to lose the admiration and support from their fans when they jump back into the arena less than 4 months later? Clemens, Jordan, now Bret Favre- just quit and stay quit! The one exception, Dara Torres, who is proving so much by reclaiming a spot on the US swimming team at the plucky age of 41; but somehow her retirement and re-entering the sports fold seems nothing close to being the pathetic process Bret's new need to be playing ball feels like. Hell, two years ago he went through the whole act of debating staying or going and ended up staying and doing well, but once he decided to retire this year, he should let the team, the fans, and the sport move on!

Now he's acting like a true fan- a cheesehead and putting his fans through more ups and downs than a Miss USA contestant at the Miss Universe pageant.

on my radar: Ode to the Brinkley's

Uptown guy,
He's been living in an Uptown lie
I bet he never thought he'd cry
I bet his lawyer never told him why

He went and tried for an Uptown girl
She'd been living in her Hampton's world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
She was looking for hubby #4
That's what he was

And when he knows what
He wants from her time
And when he wakes up
And makes up his mind

She'll see he's not up to snuff
Just because
He's in love with a toy store girl
He met her in his uptown world
She was sexy there playing with toys
And all he thought was, "oh my, oh boy"
He bought her toys

Uptown girl
You know he can't afford the suit they're in
But maybe someday when the truth comes out
Everyone will understand the guy he's been
And then she'll win

And when she testifying
She's looking so fine
And when he's lying
She'll say that the kids are mine

She'll say I'm not so smart
Just because
I'm in love
With a toy store clerk
Now I'm acting like the classic jerk
Suing her for stuff I never owned
Because of the chick I boned
Thats what I am

Uptown Girl
She was my uptown girl
You know I'm not in love
With my uptown girl

a little too ironic, dontcha think?

Speaking of patriotism: 2 new laws began to be enforceable yesterday, one in NYC and one in Georgia. You, the witty and educated blogosphere, I hope you don't miss the irony...

Georgians with carry licenses can tote their concealed guns on public transportation, in restaurants that serve alcohol and in state parks under legislation signed by Gov. Sonny Perdue Wednesday.


NEW YORK - The Board of Health voted Tuesday to make New York the nation’s first city to ban artery-clogging artificial trans fats at restaurants — from the corner pizzeria to high-end bakeries.

The board, which passed the ban unanimously, did give restaurants a slight break by relaxing what had been considered a tight deadline for compliance. Restaurants will be barred from using most frying oils containing artificial trans fats by July and will have to eliminate the artificial trans fats from all of their foods by July 2008.

Apparently it's not guns that kill people, it's trans fat! And lobbyist groups...

on my radar: patriotism

Just what is a Patriot? The march towards 1600 Penn., the 4th of July and the Olympics got me all Michelle Obama as an adult!

What defines a Patriot most?

Must you wear more American flair on your lapel than a trainee waiter at TGIFridays?
Would all the metal that you brandish cause security delays trying to pass through a metal detector at school/work/airport? Do you need to wake-up an hour earlier just to get all your merchandise on?

Should the clothes you wear be only in hues of red, white and blue? Or should you look like one of Ralph Lauren's "Polo" models lounging poolside at some huge mansion in the Hampton's, or trekking across a dune in search of the perfect photo op/picnic place to break bread with the Kennedy's? Nothing speaks of Americana more than POLO and Kennedy's (unless you favor Calvin Klein, Republicans, or Mary Jo Kopechne).

If I whistle Estelle's "American Boy" all day, would that do the trick, or must I add "American Pie", "Coming to America", "Born in the USA", and "Little Pink Houses" (Mr Cougar so speaks to the heartland and Chevy truck owners)?

I could paint my face like a rabid soccer fan, but that's not quite an American sport (sorry Becks old chap) and I would lose credibility.

Perhaps I write a play, and call it "The Patriot Act", would that do the trick or would I be plagiarizing (not GWB, but "The Crucible")?

It's just so hard to know how to prove I am a Patriot, good thing to know I have politicians who can do that for me! Viva la American!

Maybe I'll just wear a Tom Brady jersey...