So the "Bay-Jing" Oly's have come to a close and all of China is now sleeping and nervously calculating how to pay for the $44B games, perhaps they will sell off Tibet or annex Japan?
As I sat riveted to the 17-day coverage, fleeting moments of humor would flash through my brain as I contemplated, furrowed brow and curled-up lip, on how I could compete in the trampoline or race-walk events; 18 years of bouncing on a bed or 39 years of walking has to come in handy at some point in my life, why not as an Olympic sporting event?
The other thought that managed to escape the Chinese mind-meld of coverage in my brain (was I turning into the "NBC-Tiananmen Candidate"?) was, "if I created my own "Dream Team" what and who would it be?"...thus my VERY politically incorrect Olympic Dream Team was born...stop now if you don't want to be offended...
Open Ceremonies: Heidi Montag entertains
Any throwing contest: Naomi Campbell (she doesn't appear to ever miss a target)
Boxing: DaBrat
Fencing: University of Miami officials
Sailing: Natalie Wood
Equestrian: Christopher Reeves
US Rowers: anyone living in Flordia after Fay
Shooting: Dick Cheney
Steeple (and Evangelicals) Chase: John McCain
US women's 400 relay: Hillary's campaign team (dq'd for dropping the baton)
Gymnastic Judges: Discredited Clayton County (GA.) school officials
Tug-of-War: Russia vs. USA and Georgia
Chinese Gymnastics Team (women): my niece's day care class
Closing Ceremonies: Amy Winehouse to accept the Olympic flag going to London.
7 comments:
you stopped jumping on beds after 18? why?
i especially like your chosen contestant for shooting, ha!
and is this mr. lessinges daughter that you refer to for the gymnastics? sweet!
and of course, i like the choice of heidi to open. that goes without saying.
"Chinese Gymnastics Team (women): my niece's day care class".. they might be a bit too old but I like the idea. The real question is does Anna's day care mates have enough hair clips to compete?
Brookem: no, that's when I started! :-).
Yeah, with some blue (gaudy) eyeshadow I think Anna looks older than those Chinese girls do!
Nothing sounds more tragic than Heidi warbling "overdosin" to a bunch of steroided athletes!
Miss Bond: I think I'd need to buy a few more clips, but we can use Egan's speedo's for their leotards...
Even I cringed at Natalie Wood!
You said Speedo.
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