Ask not, oh mighty "Historical South", for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for Thee!
The "New South" is rising faster than you can say, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!" Heck, Obama and a Democratic Senator both almost won in Georgia- if that doesn't cause the Mason-Dixon line some serious shrinkage, I don't know what will (besides more cold rainy weather)!
And in its wake crumbles the pillars of the "Old South".
Sweeping changes are coming: the glory days of the South, the "Dukes of Hazzard" lifestyle and clothing, Rebel flags waving across the state capitol building, UGA being ranked preseason #1 in college football, "English" spoken in a native-sounding tongue with a mouth full of marbles and the slight straining melody of "dueling banjos" faintly heard as background noise are about as good as gone as Dale Earnhardt Sr., bless his heart and NASCAR winnings!
Hip-Hop, high-rises, Donald Trump and clean porches are paving the way to the New South. Yes, clean porches I said!
Down yonder a ways from Atlanta, a tranquil little town known as Albany, a city that claims a share to the "Home of Ray Charles" fame, recently passed a law that makes it illegal to keep couches on your porch. Well "Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care 'cause my master went away" what is happening here? How un-Southern and insidious of a law is that? Why doesn't someone just burn down Atlanta, again, if they want to change the ways of the South?
Why not make
Will they try to take away our "Billy Beer" next?
I say to the South, "gather ye
Hang on to your Lazee Boyz, sofas and BRQ-O-Loungers, Albany! Don't ditch the couch for modern trappings and pride; hold fast to those eye sore sofas!
You gotta fight, for your right, to blight!
2 comments:
OMG - they just passed that law where I live, too. A couple of months ago, actually.
And while I do agree that porch couches are tacky, as a homeowner it angers me. Unless you live in a private community where you have covenants and such, you should be able to put whatever the hell you want on your porch.
SM: I am so there with you! Tacky lawn ornaments and bird feeders be damned- it's my property! my perogative!
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