Are you there God? It's me Paris!
So this was my first weekend in jail:
Eat cereal, cry, eat bread, barely sleep, cry, find religion (pray that my spray-on tan, which I got during my "housebreak", that should only last 7-10 days lasts for a miraculous 45 days), cry, call mom, talk to Barbara Walters (I called her collect- I am so ashamed), cry, sleep some, eat cereal, see sis and Nic, give up trying to tan in my room because the bars cause horrible lines, sleep some, have an epiphany and become a changed woman.
Now what will I do with the next 30 days? Build an ark? Nope, I'm going to give up the "dumb blonde" act...seeing how this Loreal coloring won't make it through my incarceration I might as well turn over a new leaf and become a real role model to young girls who face a life of crime...like Bonnie Parker of Bonnie and Clyde fame!
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