Imagine my perplexed state of shock, awe, and disbelief, and then the paralyzing anxiety that settled-in when nary a single sequin, rhinestone or bauble could be found when I was attempting to recreate Aretha's crown this weekend!
Never one to flaunt it in public circles, but the milliner that I am was relying heavily on recreating that "bow-toxed" top in the talent competition of the pageant- my mad hatter skilz were to be my crowning glory (every single pun definitely intended)! With out those jewels, how could I compete? My hopes in winning were like a pack of cigarettes under J-Lo's booty, crushed!
Just deal with it!
And so I did! Bouncing back from this early disappointment, or as it shall always be referred to amongst close friends, "the sequins incident '09," I quickly attempted to move to my back-up talent...spelling (and not the Tori kind)!
Yet suddenly I was incapable of putting into alphabetical order, and then spelling correctly, all 50 United States! What the hell? Amber Atkins had just done it with a flourish and I couldn't even place "A-L-A-S-K-A" before "A-R-I-Z-O-N-A!"
***then I woke up***
Folks, let this be a warning to you all. In lieu of Netflixs and football, don't settle for a weekend of beauty pageants and figure skating championships...the resulting dreams could be disastrous!
2 comments:
I love that movie! And I totally forgot the pageant was on TLC this weekend! Damn!
I won't ruin it for you, but Georgia was runner up... just saying!
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