on my radar: the "wide stance" defense

Shot to the heart and you're to blame,

Republicans are giving homosexuals a bad name!

Talk about a quandary! On one side you have these men (lately they've been high ranking Republicans: Larry Craig, Bob Allen, and Mark Foley) who spout hate and propose laws to oppress minorities but then get caught with their pants down in public restrooms (or chat rooms) with other men. These men deny any wrong doing, but are caught in the act of homosexual activities (the very same stuff they are writing laws against), most news watching people then determine these men are "closeted" gays and whitewash a whole segment of the population (the gay community) talking about "deviant behaviors", and yet these "exposed" men (save George Michael) don't profess to being gay...and so the people who suffer from the behavior of these men are the gays.

And thus you get to the other side of the issue; why does the gay community take a hit every time a Republican gets busted for inappropriate homosexual activity? It's kinda like an alcoholic Senator who pushes for prohibition and then gets caught drunk at a speakeasy...kinda.

My favorite quote from the story (from CNN) "When the police interviewed him later, the senator said that "he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom" and that was why his foot may have touched the officer's, the report said."

Stand back, he's got a wide stance!!!! Hate to know what's he's having for lunch...

on my radar: an act of contrition?

Lying beside you, here in the dark (prison cell)

Feeling your heart beat with mine

Softly you whisper, you're so sincere (they'll forget in a year)

How could our fans be so blind

We sailed on together (dog fighting ring)

We drifted apart (when the Fed's found out)

And here you are by my side (busted!)

So now I come to you (my fans, NFL, Arthur Blank), with open arms

Nothing to hide, believe what I say (this time around)

So here I am with open arms

Hoping you'll see what your love (money) means to me

Open arms (and I found Jesus, by the way...)

Living without you, living alone (no contracts or endorsements)

This empty (dog)house seems so cold

Wanting to choke you, wanting you near

How much I wanted you home (but not where the dogs were dug up)

But now that you've come back (don't call it a comeback!)

Turned night into day

I need you to "stay" (perform well or I will kill you!).

on my radar: "witch fight"

Apparently, it's still too hot in Georgia so the devil made a U-turn and high-tailed it to Salem instead; thus leading the locals into a "witch fight". No, seriously. Is this what happens when good witches go bad?

"SALEM, Mass. (Aug. 23) - A self-proclaimed high priestess of Salem witches and a second person were accused of tossing raccoon parts on the doorsteps of businesses, allegedly as part of a Wiccan community feud. Sharon Graham, 46, and a fellow Wiccan, Frederick Purtz, 22, pleaded not guilty Wednesday to charges of littering and malicious destruction of property. Graham also was charged with intimidating a witness. They were accused of putting a raccoon head and entrails on the doorsteps of Angelica of the Angels and the Goddess' Treasure Chest in May."

This reads like a low-rent version of the "Witches of Eastwick", just no cherry pits.

It's good to know that in this technological world of computers and reality checks, that witches still do exist...and that they use their powers not to heal the world, but to dismember nocturnal mammals and leave them on the doorsteps of their enemies, like a postal-wiccan Amway salesperson ; calling Dr. Bombay, come right away!

Someone get the Charmed Ones to help referee this magical Hatfield's-McCoy before they make Michael Vick look pet friendly! Witches fighting is so not fetch!

on my radar: W(why)TF????!!!!

Oh my eyes!!! They BURN!!!

Haven't we suffered enough?

First she bombed us on Sept. 11th, 2001 with her "Glitter" cd,

Next we had to run off to the pawnshop to offload her "Charmbracelet" at discount prices,

Then Universal Music Group records chose to Emancipate Mimi onto an unsuspecting crowd,

Now Willy is killing us all with a rumored duet...but this hits a new low

Stevie Wonder doesn't know how lucky he is to not have to see this sight! Someone protect the kids and the cow she's hiding....

on my radar: Hotel California

Well bust my buttons and ring all the bells...

The"Queen of Mean" is dead, or "the wicked bitch" if you're nasty!

Come out, come out, where ever you are, Mrs. Hemsely has left the premises for a location a tad more toasty! I wouldn't be so cruel, but she was! She was mean to everyone around her...nightmarish tales of abuse and ill-behavior that would make even Stephen King shudder! The horrible ways in which she treated her staff and her employees, you'd swear she was the role model for Naomi Campbell! And, as a business owner of hotels no less, to publicly denounce the patrons of your hotel while they are there....is crazy! And to throw in spicy derogatory remarks (at the gay tourists) just makes her the lowest of low class...hasn't she heard of the gay Mafia? She certainly was risking bad hair and make-up appointments for the rest of her life! But, by looking at her pictures, it looks like a few gay mafioso's got to her! Is it Leona or the Joker?

So it is only fitting to assume that she has passed out of this world and is now running the Hotel California in another...

on my radar: splitting (nappy) hairs

While reading the news today, I had a "Mirror Glass" moment that made me think I had stumbled through the paper and ended up in "Ally McBeal" land. No, this had nothing to do with too skinny people, it had to do with zany, frivolous lawsuits.

If I were to ask yo who Kia Vaughn is, who could answer? Anyone? Anyone?

Here's the answer:

Kia Vaughn is a member of the Rutgers women’s basketball team who is now suing Don Imus and CBS, claiming the radio personality’s sexist and racist comments about the team damaged her reputation. Vaughn’s lawsuit, believed to be the first by a player in the case, says Imus and his former co-host Bernard McGuirk, along with CBS Corp. and CBS Radio, are legally responsible for damage done to her character and reputation. There is no dollar amount listed in the suit

Excuse me? Me thinks a tad bit of ego and a lot of foolish advise has gone to her head!
How can someone, who 99/100 people have no clue who she is, better yet recollect and align Imus' comments to her specifically, claim defamation and damage to character? Who knows her character, and more honestly, who cares? And brutually, who follows Imus?

Did he say her specifically? I think not! She outed herself on Oprah as a spokesperson for the team, but that was after the fact; she the one who made herself a "face" for the team. Trust me, before they spoke up, outside of close friends and family, nobody knew who Rutger's players were.

Now, granted the comments were just stupid, but we all have a right to stupidity under the 1st Bush Amendment; and she has a right to stand up and call him out for his foolishness, but me thinks nobody ever took 2 cents to Imus' words and went out and treated any of the women, or Kia specifically, different than they would have before the comments were made. This just sounds like an ill-fated attempt to "get even"...hadn't most everyone all ready forgotten the whole thing? Could anyone outside of Rutger's remember what team Imus' referenced?

I wonder, does Kia have a dad who lost his pants at a dry cleaner in DC?

on my radar: fallen stars

It humbles me to admit (or is it a badge of pride) that I have never seen any of the follow-up movies to "Star Wars"; humbles me because it kinda takes me down a notch when I claim to be so on the know of most things pop culture. I would never claim to be "Stephen Kingly" connected, because he is just freakishly on the hook with everything, but I think I could pass a random quiz if I had to....just don't make me pick Star Wars categories.

So, I'm just wondering, since I didn't watch those other movies, did things get so bad for the evil empire: death star blowing up and all, Jedi's exacting revenge, making us (you, not me) deal with Jar-Jar, sending Sith's out to do a man's job, and attacking clowns (or was that a Judy Collins song?) that Darth Vader had to do his own shopping back here on Earth? I mean, even without a home planet, I could swear the technology they had could have atleast "beamed" something to him! How sad must it have been to crush galaxies, bust still have to wait in the 7-11 line? And what's with Coke? I so would have guessed him to be a Pepper!

Just another reason why Star Wars fans (geeks) get their arses kicked by Harry Potter people at the conventions!

on my radar: 756

Finally!

Why did the fool have to drag this damn thing on for so darn long?

It seems like "the chase" has been run longer than a Senate Filibuster! And just as boring!

The only reason to be thrilled that a cheater has now claimed the title (and I'm not talking about the Tour de France winner) is the hope that all the media surrounding "the event" will now cease and we can all get back to whatever was being preempted! No more split-screens like "The View"- that just gave me a headache, shutting whichever eye aligned to the half of the television screen that was suddenly forced to witness another "at bat" moment....there's a "Precious Moments" figurine that I doubt will be cast!

Hang in there Hank...I'm sure an asterisk will be inserted shortly!!

on my radar: guilty pleasures

Could the "KFC" trial in Texas simply be about folks who wanted a "KFC Bowl" and were told "No"?

I don't mean to make light of a ghastly crime, but that old tangential mind of mine started strolling the minute I saw those three fattening letters, "KFC", in the evening news; and where pray tell did I stroll? To the land of corn, mashed potatoes (buttered, of course!), chicken, extra gravy and heaps of fat; ah, the infamous KFCBowl!

Sure there is enough fat in one bowl to make Nicole Richie look healthy, but oh is that one tasty 3-meal replacement dish! You only need to run a marathon to burn off the calories!

The concept is so clever: mix everything you might ever want in a "comfort food" meal together in a bowl, try to market it in Sanjaya's (who?) hair, advertise it as complete dinner and viola; every lazy red-blooded American has just spoon feed themselves their next orgasm!

Next time you have sex, skip the cigarette and dig into "the Bowl"...and if you keep at it, soon you won't want (or get) the sex.

Screw being thin, this year, sin is in! And KFC has it by the bowlful!

on my radar: OZ

While I was wittling away the hours, consulting with the flowers...awaiting my plane
I caught a funny notion, that put my mind in motion and handly Bush's administration it did explain!
It had to do with people in the government arena
who make me wanna screama...

A recasting of "The Wizard of Odds"....
Dick Cheney as the man who lacks a heart
Alberto Gonzales as the man who lacks the nerve
And good old Bush as the one who lacks the brains
Condi can be the wicked witch

Sadly, we, lost in this administration, could all be Dorothy- just seeking to get home? Or is that the US soldiers?

And true to the story, in this version, there's no real wizard to help save the day...until November 2008 Or James and the Giant Impeachment!