Tuesday, July 31, 2007

on my radar: the truth about cats


There are dog lovers and there are cat lovers, and betwixt the two, the twain shall never meet!

I count myself amongst those most hallowed (and smart) of fellow pet people, I like dogs; and this damn cat, Oscar, has done nothing to change my mind, in fact, it has encouraged me to hold fast to my beliefs. Cats to me, and I know these be fighting words, are left best to Asian comics in "Hello Kitty" form and maybe for posters that say "hang in their baby", otherwise, I don't buy them!


So imagine my thrill when I learned that the Grim Reaper now masquerades as a furry pussy; proof, right there in a medical journal, that they are evil! Evil I say! Out damn Oscar, out I say!


Oscar hangs out at a nursing home in Providence, R.I., and then curls up with people who die within 4 hours...cheery cat; like that's what I want to be stuck with before dying, a damn cat! And, imagine how you might feel if Oscar wanders into your room; might as well up the morphine if Oscars comes slinking in! So much for having nine lives! Anybody ever suspect the cat might be a killer? They do that kind of thing to mice, maybe Oscar just snuck out of the Pet Cemetery and has a thirst for human flesh and blood!


I hope, since Oscar keeps killing his friends, that if and when it gets adopted, there is a owner disclosure about life expectancy!


"Don't fear the Calico reaper!"


10 comments:

Airam said...

OH yeah that cat freaks me out. If that cat came near me I'd muster up any strength I had to (gently) throw it out of my room.

Radioactive Tori said...

I read that story somewhere recently. It is pretty freaky that the cat is able to predict who is going to die, but he is doing it in a nursing home. His odds are much better than normal, don't you think?

EF said...

Airam- (gently) need not be attached...;-)

RG- howdy! I agree it's like winning lotto with 3 numbers (out of 5) given to ya...still gives me the creeps, tho!

armalicious said...

haha....don't fear the calico reaper...I totally heard a cowbell with that line.

egan said...

Hey techie, your image is broken yo! Get on it and fix it. People want to know what you look like and shit.

EF said...

Hey ARM...i can't access your blog..;-( Ask not for whom the cowbell rings.

Eg...I noticed! I feel like a wong answer on the Hollywood squares- just a big red X! Will work on this!!

megabrooke said...

aww, this is a sad story. do you think one can love cats and dogs, equally? i do. although this is kind of a freaky story with the dying and the slinking in afterwards (i love that you said "slink")... anyway. i hope this kitty doesn't make his way from RI to MA.

brandy said...

I know Brookem has Cosmo, but I have to say I'm much more a fan of dogs. A dog would never pull a Grim Reaper move. It would be too busy licking it's balls or wanting to go for a walk. And yes, apparently I would prefer an animal that licks itself a lot in public to a an animal that can predict death.

armalicious said...

I sent you my blog access shit. Sorry about that, yo!

egan said...

Yeah, you got it fixed. I'm impressed grasshopper.